three years ago:
hero's arms are around my waist and as much as it hurts me to do it - i move his body off me and turn my back to him. he stood me up to go and get high, i'm not gonna just fall into his arms when he wants me to - even though i want to stay in his arms.
i eventually get tired of the sight of the wall and sluggishly pull myself out of bed - i look over to the boy who i'm so angry at but i'm madly in love with, he looks so peaceful sleeping. i head to the bathroom, brush my teeth and comb my hair through - i'm angry at hero but i don't want to look a mess in front of him although i couldn't care less if he didn't like that i looked a mess.
i go back to my bedroom to get my phone and hero's sitting up with his back rested on the headboard and his eyes look droopy.
"morning baby" he says to me, putting arms out to me; i give him a stern look and pick my phone up from the dresser - i take another look of hero's beautiful morning face and leave the room before i give in to him.
the growling of the coffee machine is the only sound that fills the air and to be quite honest i don't want it to go silent, hero's sitting on the sofa - waiting for me to come and talk to him which is not going to happen. as the coffee machine finishes, i go over and pick my mug up.
hero's eyes look dull and his skin is slightly pale, i want to make him a hot chocolate but he can do that himself.
"i'm sorry" he says, breaking the silence
"what?"
"i'm sorry for not turning up" he repeats, i bring the mug to my mouth and the warmth of the liquid fills my body.
"ok" is all that manages to leave my mouth, i'm slightly hurt by the fact that he didn't even text to say he's not coming and he just let me thinks he was coming when he was fucking getting high.
i take another drink of my coffee, it's the only thing making me feel warm - i should put a sweatshirt on. i place my mug onto the small table and grab a hoodie from my closet - it's oversized but it doesn't matter, i look down and realise it's hero's hoodie. he's probably seen me in it and there's no point in me changing if he's seen me in it already.
a smile grows onto his face and i pick my mug up from the table and sit back down on the couch - where i was previously seated.
"i'm sorry" he says again, i look over to him and he gives me an apologetic smile - he knows he holds power over me. i pick myself up from the couch and put my mug in the dishwasher, i should make myself some breakfast - and hero, it'd be rude for me not to.
"is bacon and eggs okay?" i ask and he nods at me with a small smile on his face. i hear him get up from the couch and then i feel his hands on my waist, it startles me a little but i'd be lying if i said i never wanted him to do that. he rests his head on my back and his arms around my waist as i crack the eggs into the bowl.
"i love you" he reminds me and i look back at him, my eyes still dull.
"i'm still mad at you" i tell him with a small smirk on my face, i can't stay mad at him.
"i didn't mean to" he says, pouting - his bottom lip going over his top lip, making me chuckle slightly.
we're eating breakfast and watching elf, i usually watch this on christmas eve - alone because my mom doesn't usually turn up on christmas eve or christmas day, neither does mr sister so i'm alone all the time. i'm used to being alone a lot and having hero here most of the time has just made me want my mom home or even my sister - so i have someone.
"thank you" hero says to me and i nod, he gets up from the couch and takes his plate - putting it in the dishwasher.
"leave it i can do it" i tell him and he shakes his head.
hero comes and sits down next to me, he leans over and takes a sip of his got chocolate that i made for him - i made it just how he likes it, whipped cream and extra marshmallows. luckily i had some mini marshmallows because it was so cute when i gave him the drink because he was happy.
"can you stop being moody" he asks me, drawing small circles on my thigh
"no" i reply stubbornly and focus on the movie
"i love you" he tells me again.
i take a breath in and try and build the courage to say it back, i'm not going to text it to him - i'm going to say it out loud even though i'm supposed to be mad at him.
"i love you too" i reply and a smirk forms on his face - causing his dimple to become visible, my heart leaps at his reaction.
"i'm sorry" he repeats for the tenth time
"it's okay, but i gotta give you your presents"
i go to the storage room and pick his gifts up from the clutter that has been piling up for the past few months, i should really find the time to clear it out.
i hand hero the envelope and the box with his hot chocolate kit inside it.
hero's point of view;
josephine hands me an envelope with a box, i peel the wrapping off of the box and it's a hot chocolate kit thing.
"thank you" i say and kiss her cheek softly
i open the envelope, it's a tickets to an aquarium that i wanted to go to - she knew how much i wanted to go but i couldn't afford them until my mom got her job.
"thank you" i say again and give her another hug.
thank you for making me smile ~ j x
her writing is so elegant.
"i think you're the best gift though" i tell her and open my arms for her, she scoots over and rests her head on me. i feel so guilty for not telling her that i wasn't coming yesterday, i should've come here instead of staying with theo and aiden.
fuck, i need to make it up to her.
