The love we share

Chapter 12

Shuhuas pov

"Shuhua what did she say," Minnie asks worriedly.

Where in the car currently driving to Minnie's dorm. What Soojin said runs deep, this isn't the first time someones said this to me but hearing her say that breaks my heart. I love Soojin, I've always had feelings for her so when we finally did start doing things I was so content and happy, so for her to just throw it in my face like it meant nothing fucks me up.

But the day in the kitchen was so fast and full of hormones, god no wonder she thinks I'm like that I threw myself at her.

Minnie grabs my hand gently stroking it bringing me out of my thoughts, her delicateness only makes me cry harder.

"She implied I was a slut." I say shakily. The car stops violently, Minnie faces me, I gulp at her expression, she's pissed.

"She. said. what."

"Minnie, you can't just stop! where on the road" I say trying to distract her. The car starts moving but I can see her knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel.

"That stupid bitch, when I see her UGHHHH! how could she say that!" she's ranting now but I look out the window. I dont want to hear bad things about Soojin as mad as I am I still care about her.

"I'm sorry Shuhua, I shouldn't have said those things. That's probably the last thing you want to hear right now." We pull into her driveway and the car stops. she softly grabs my chin, making me look into her dreamy eyes, her expression is soft and comforting.

"Shuhua, everything about you is perfect. We all have our flaws that's what makes us human, but you are an amazing person never doubt that. Her calling comes from her insecurities. She can be the smartest person but when it comes to you somehow she's an idiot, she doesn't even realise how lucky she is to have you love her." Minnie says.

"Unnie, thank you" as I'm looking at Minnie I've never really noticed how she's always been there for me, I hate that it took soojin hurting me to realise how important she is to me.

Minnie shyly looks away making me giggle.

"I mean it, Minnie. You make me feel special, I love you"

"I love you too," Minnie says quietly.

"Let's go inside I'll order us some food and we can watch whatever you want"

"Let's go"

.......................

Soojins pov

"I'll be there soon"

Fuck, it's been about half an hour since shuhua left and still no reply. My hearts beating like crazy, I'm so anxious. Did I ruin everything? I hurt the one person who has always been there for me.

I promise myself when she comes back I'll make it up to her, I need to keep positive. But what if she never forgives me and leaves. More tears stream down my face, all these negative thoughts keep invading my brain. I squeeze my eyes shut trying to control my thoughts.

*knock *knock *knock

I open my eyes at the realisation that jennies here.

I see my reflection in the mirror, I look like shit.

I slowly walk to the door my hands hesitantly hover over the handle.

"Soojin, let me in please" I hear jennies voice call.

I finally open the door, and there she is, Jennie.

She takes one look at me and engulfs me into a bear hug, she's holding me so tight I melt right into her body crying harder.

"It's alright, it's going to be okay," she says soothingly.

She lifts me and carry's me to my room, she's been here a few times so she instantly knows the way.

I don't know how long it's been but I'm still in jennies arms, I've calmed down a lot she's been stroking my back softly just the way she always used to, to calm me down.

"Soojin, what happened," she says quietly.

I lift my head off her chest so I can face her. She smiles sweetly, her soft hands move to rub my tears away.

"I messed up," I say looking away ashamed.

"what happened"

I stay silent contemplating telling her the truth and who it was about.

"Hey, you don't have to tell me I just want to be here for you" she kisses my forehead and brings me closer. I hate how much I love this, me in her arms. But at the same time its completely different, my feelings for shuhua are so strong and she's who I want at this moment.

I'm so weak emotionally right now that ill put aside my hurt that Jennie inflicted and just enjoy the comfort.

"Me and Shuhua fought" Her body turns stiff, her grip on me a little looser. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. She sighs.

"I dont know much about Shuhua but I do know one thing, she loves you and whatever you may have done she will forgive you, talk to her soo don't shut her out" I'm surprised by Jennie's words, I can see how much it hurts her saying this. But she's part of the reason I hold back.

"Really," I say like a wounded puppy.

"As much as I hate it, yes I think so" She's smiling, not her usual beaming smile she sends me, but it's genuine.

"Jennie"

"hmm"

"You hurt me" I barely get out. She closes her eyes sighing when she opens them her face is right in front of my own. I can see just how broken she is, her eyes are glossy tears threatening to spill.

"I know. I hurt you so badly and I will live with that for the rest of my life, You probably hate me and I don't blame you, I know an apology isn't enough but over time I hope that one day you'll forgive me. For now, I promise I'll be here for you in any way you want, if you need space I'll give you space, if you need someone to hold you I will hold you. Soojin, I will do anything for you, you might not believe me but I will prove it. I know somethings going on with you and Shuhua so if you end up with her I will be happy for you, I just want to see you happy. I know she will treat you better than I did."I wipe her tears, feeling a swirl of emotions by her words.

We were just two girls who loved each other, but wrong timing and different factors lead us to where we are today. They always say your first love is the hardest to let go of, and they're right. My own heart is strained to see both of us so hurt, our love was so pure and real but somehow we turned into the people who could hurt each other the most. I don't know where me and Jennie stand but I still care about her.

"I don't hate you, Jennie, I could never hate you. Even after everything I hated the fact that I didn't, of course I was mad and upset but I still cared about you and that's the hardest part. I can't even be mad at you now because I know you understand what you did and I can see you're truly sorry, but it still hurts. I'm glad that we could finally talk about it I do feel better, but Jennie I don't want to lead you on either, I don't want you to do all these things and in the end, I don't choose you, because right now my heart belongs to someone else."

She just smiles a heartbreakingly beautiful smile.

"Soojin, I don't expect anything out of this. I just want you back in my life but if you can't let me back in I understand and I will go. I love you so much soo, I just want the best for you and to succeed and if I'm there to see it then that's more than enough for me"

I'm quiet, I don't know what to think. Can I bring her back into my life?

"I don't know if I can let you back in, but for tonight just hold me" I whisper. She pulls me closer so our body's are tangled. I place my hand in her hair, massaging it lightly. I always loved her hair, she sighs in content by my touch.

"Always" she whispers into my ear.

#shuhua #jennie