The love we share

Chapter 20

Jennie's pov

Awards shows scare me the most in this industry. I thought as the years passed my anxiety would have calmed down, but to no avail, if anything its gotten worse. All eyes are on you, you cant hide, cameras following you at all times making sure you're perfect and If you aren't its all captured and in the news the next day. "Jennie Kim seen looking at RM and smiling a little to hard. Dating?" The comments I got the next day the article came out still haunt me. Little things matter when you're a celebrity in Korea. Im always thankful and know Im blessed but somedays I wish I listened to my mum and went to America to finish my studies. I wonder who I would be now, had I chosen a different path. the lingering thought If I did choose a different life perhaps I could have loved who I wanted without thinking about the consequences.

I never cared about dating because for so long to become a singer was the only love in my life and it was enough. That was until I met her. No concert or fan meetings could fill the spot she left in my heart. When she smiled, when she sang to me, or when we sat in silence while I lay my head on her chest and listened to her heart. Nothing compared to it. If only I hadn't fallen for her than this would be enough for me, I would be how I was and not feel this emptiness, once you have experienced something that special theres no going back I learnt this the hard way.

I hate it, all the responsibility of being perfect haunting me, I feel my anxiety slowly creeping up on me. My minds racing and I can feel my body agitating but I cant control it. Im in my head and its racing my breathing becomes ragged and im trying my best to snap out of it but I can't.

"Breathe" jisoo whispers into my ear. She grabs the hand I didn't realised was clenched.

"Breathe" she says again, I focus on her voice and do as she says.

She smiles sweetly at me quietly counting to ten. I take one final deep breath.

" thank you unnie" my hearts still beating like crazy but jisoo's managed to calm me down.

"When it gets to much hold my hand, and don't forget I'm here. Where all here you never have to go through anything alone okay" I nod my head and smile, her voice soothing my inner demons.

All of a sudden loud screams are heard. I turn my head and it's her.

" I LOVE YOU SOOJIN"

"MIYEON MARRY ME"

"IDLE STANS"
(Let's pretend covid doesn't exist )
I laugh a little seeing how flustered Soojin is, god she looks good. Her white dress sticking to her body showing her off in all the right places, her hair wavy and long. My favourite thing her famous red lips. She looks amazing and happy, genuinely happy. Shuhua's holding onto her tightly I can tell Soojins trying to act cold but I know her it's an act that most people would believe.

The way she looks at Shuhua reminds me of a time where she use to look at me. As if she can feel my eyes she looks right at me, she half smiles and looks away. It hurts seeing her look at me like that, like I don't matter. But it's what I deserve, I hurt her even though it killed me aswell. But these are the consequences I have to face.

Ughhhh, fuck I should just move on and let her be. I should but I know I can't, not yet.

.........................

Soojins pov

Shuhuas been acting.... strange. Not necessarily with me but with Minnie, I feel bad because I know it's because of me. Shuhuas been distancing herself from her ever since we became offical. Oh god, just the thought Of us two now together for real makes me so happy. Things are finally falling into place, I know its a risk and that still scares me but she's worth it.