Alarm Clock - Ereri/Riren (Re-uploaded)

Chapter 17

We were indoors but it seemed like fireworks were exploding behind us brighter than any on the fourth of July. The sound of the overwhelming crowd was fading into what seemed like a chorus singing my favourite song. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and I wrapped mine around his waist as we soaked up the contact of each other's touch in a passionate enclasp. I only realized we were touching tongues when I picked up the vague taste of a vodka soda. His fingers were wrapped in my hair, as he moved and turned in sync with me. I leaned in further into him, as if I could never be satisfied no matter how much I touched him. It was fast, it was rough but in a good way, and it was desperate. I felt like I was having a seizure with all the adrenaline running through my body as we pulled each other closer and tighter together. His lips were soft, submissive, but had a certain level of dominance to them, as they felt just as needy for my touch as mine were for his. It didn't seem like this instant would ever come to end. But it did. He pushed me off with the force of adrenaline pumping through his veins and didn't even take time to look at me as he said a blunt: "I'm drunk. Sorry." and frantically pulled his two friends, who had seen everything, toward the exit of the building. Oh fuck.

Idiot idiot idiot! What had I just done? He looked so scared. Of course he's scared, I'd be scared too if I was straight and some guy I thought was my friend kissed me! God what was I thinking? I wasn't. I have so majorly ruined everything. And now I don't even see myself staying friends with Levi. How could we? I overstepped and now it was all pointless.

The day after new years day, school started back up again and he wasn't there. The following day, he still wasn't there. And eventually the days all blended together into one seamless time period without Levi. I was truly beginning to understand what it was like for him those few weeks I disappeared. It didn't feel right sitting next to an empty seat and having no one to talk to. I had become so accustomed to tuning out Jean and Marco's incessant moaning so I'd be able to listen to Levi rave on about something he was passionate about. I missed the way we would scoff at me once in a while and make fun of the way some girls tried to ask me out in the middle of class and how I would awkwardly decline. I had ruined it all. What made it worse was the fact that I still wasn't sure about anything at this point. I think we can all agree that I still had feelings for Armin, and I had come to terms with the fact that I may never truly move on. Armin means everything to me and I just wanted to hold onto the possibility that maybe we could forgive and forget despite how impossible it was. And now with this ambiguity between Levi and I's relationship, things were getting even more confusing than they already were. Things wouldn't be like this if I could take back that goddamn kiss. But at the same time, it had felt so good, I didn't want to.

"Hey hippie. What's got your bun in a knot?" Jean teased laughing at his own joke but Marco gave him a glare making him stop.

"Shut up." I said in a low groan.

"I fucking called it. We all saw that New Years ki-"

"I said shut the hell up Jean!" I yelled, thankful that Mr. Bozad had somehow not noticed my shift in tone and given me detention. Jean was however uncontrollably laughing and that made all of it sting even harder.

"Jean, please. This is obviously taking a toll on Eren." Marco added, trying to refocus Jean on him by tilting his chin gently. "Eren it's not a big deal trust me. You shouldn't let this get to you because last time you acted like this was when the whole....thing happened and look where that led you" Marco said. His voice exuded the feeling that he was trying to understand and wanted to help. I also didn't want things to end up like they did after the thing so I decided that I would suck it up. So what if Levi didn't like me back? So what if he was a bit weirded out? This wasn't that big of a deal and it was just an innocent New Years kiss. Just like I couldn't avoid this class forever, neither could he, and when he'd come back, I'd tell him that it was just a heat of the moment kind of thing. I really liked Levi, but if he didn't feel the same, I'm sure I could get over it. I was fine being just friends with him because I just wanted to be around him. He made things so chilled out and that was huge for me because I always feel like I'm living life at a thousand degree heat intensity.