Chapter 22

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I was so happy. Nothing could take away from the feeling of knowing I had the right to call Levi my boyfriend. Not Armin's glares, not even Mr. Bozad's blabbering. But the night was far from over. I was surprised at how long we were able to keep kissing. It was like all the tension built up over time was being released right now. All the confusion between us was now fizzling out. But he was leading, and he just kept going. Not that I was complaining though. He was really good at this. His breath felt really nice on the surface of my skin. The way we simultaneously twisted and turned did something to me. But then, he stopped.

"Are you done?" I said tauntingly. He shook his head, grabbed me by the hand and dragged me down the hall to his bedroom. His room was just what I expected from a person like Levi. Very minimalistic, clean as hell, and there were little traces of his personality here and there like books from some intellectual guys who's names I couldn't pronounce or a painting of a black stripe that was probably a metaphor for something. He then began to passionately kiss me again while simultaneously bringing me down to the bed and laying me underneath him. Was this going where I thought it was going? We just started officially dating. Like literally two minutes ago. I would absolutely love to take this step with him, but seeing as this was his first time with another guy, I was worried I would do the wrong thing and scare him off. I didn't know if HE was ready despite what he may think he wants right at this moment. I wanted a chance to develop our relationship first and see if he thought he was making the right choice. I wanted to give him a chance to see if he was acting out of lust and this was something he would later regret, or if this was something he was willing to do. Because it's a pretty big deal if you're still kind of questioning your sexuality, and it turns out you were wrong but it'd be too late to take everything back. He then began sucking on my neck, leaving hickies and breathing in my scent. He was doing really well and I couldn't get my thoughts straight as I got lost in his touch. It became more and more difficult to stop him as much as I knew I needed to.

"Levi..." I said with a slight moan. He hummed in response but didn't stop. "Levi please just..." but he kept going and it was becoming more and more difficult as he started trailing his hands up my shirt, touching all the places I wanted him to touch. It took all the strength in me to finally say: "Levi, stop". He then immediately came to a halt and lifted up a bit to look at me. He looked a bit sad and embarrassed.

"Am I doing something wrong? Is it really bad? I'm sorry this usually works on girls but I've never really-"

"No no no no not at all" I said bringing a finger to his mouth then sliding my hand to brush his hair out of his face.

"Then what is it?" he said a bit timidly. I then placed both my hands on his sides and lightly guided him off of me. He sat beside me, waiting for an answer.

"I can't do this with you yet. It wouldn't be fair." I said. It hurt to say it though.

"What do you mean?" It was then I realized how much of an emotional person Levi truly was. He was always so cold. His face never faltered and he always acted like he didn't have a care in the world. He always acted like he hated you. But when I thought back to everything we'd been through, and now the way he was looking at me with the most unsure and desperate look on his face, I knew I was making the right choice. He was willing to give me that part of him right now, and I was going to have to reject him. I hoped he could understand.

"We literally just started officially going out, Levi. And I'm the first guy you've been with and you're probably still not completely sure about everything so this would be like me taking advantage of you. I want you to think about it a bit first." I said putting my hands on each of his shoulders, making sure he was facing me.

"But I don't need to think about it. It's not like I'm a virgin or anything I-"

"Yes you do, and I know you know this is different." He looked a bit at the ground, thinking. But I knew that he knew that what I was saying was resonating with him. He then sighed in defeat and I quickly took him by the hands and pressed them against my lips before giving him an apologetic smile, letting him know that this in no way changed the way I felt about him. He let out an exaggerated groan, leaned forward and collapsed onto me causing me to fall backwards on the bed. "Oh quit whining, you'll live." I said laughing a bit pulling him a bit closer to my face as he laid on top of me.

"I hate it when you make sense." He said defeatedly, making me laugh a bit harder now.

"I know, I know. I can be pretty hard to resist sometimes." I said sarcastically.

"Shut up." he said in a childish tone. I really hoped that after he was done thinking about it, he would make the decision to go all the way and trust me, because I was really down bad.

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