Chapter 36

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Some time had passed since the show. I had spoken to Isabel recently and she told me Levi wasn't doing so good anymore. He wasn't talking to anyone and he had locked himself in his house for days on end. It was a struggle to even get him to eat and Furlan had to bring him groceries once because there was nothing but rotting fruit in his fridge that he hadn't bothered to get rid of. Perhaps now was the time. I had spent most of my time thinking about everything I wanted to tell Levi. It was incredible to me that we had known each other for nearly a year now. A year since I first talked to him, in an attempt to impress him and befriend him with my phony mannerisms and he made that "Tch!" noise at me.

'Maybe the time isn't right'
'He might not even answer the door'
'He probably doesn't even love me anymore'
Those words would ring in my head constantly as I tried to figure out how I would even start talking to him. But there I was, finally at his doorstep. I had had enough. I wasn't gonna let any of my baggage come in between me and what my heart had desired from the very beginning. I just stood there for a solid five minutes. I could hear a bit of music playing. He must have been painting or doing something with art because that was the playlist he put on when he was focused on that kind of thing. At least he wasn't in bed all day. The faint smell of earl gray had slipped through the cracks of the door. I couldn't wait anymore. This was it. I had rehearsed in my room countless amounts of times on how I would say it. I took a deep breath, slowly raised my hand to the door and knocked. The music stopped and I heard footsteps grow closer. The door slowly creaked open and there he was. Tired looking, and he was wearing an outfit that he probably hadn't changed out of since the beginning of the weekend.

"Eren?"

"Hey." it had been months since I heard the sound of his voice. He sighed loudly.

"What are you doing here?" he said lazily rubbing his eyes as I began fidgeting with my fingers.

"I need to speak to you," I said, in the most confident tone I could bring myself to have. He sighed again, waited for a moment, then stepped aside, gesturing for me to come in. I was slightly relieved but the awkwardness was far from over.

"Are you here to tell me your back with that blond twink or something?" he stated bluntly as he made his way down the hall and I followed. He was still funny even under these circumstances. I couldn't hold back a faint giggle. The last time we talked we said some pretty heavy shit so the fact that I was able to even laugh at all in that moment was odd. "I had only come to your concert to see if what Isabel was saying was true. That you were playing the piano. That piece was amazing by the way."

"It was for you." He stopped in his tracks, didn't turn around, and after a pause, kept walking.

"So what do you wanna talk about."

"Can we sit down?" I asked, avoiding eye contact. I was really nervous. He nodded, and we both made our way to the couch and sat slightly facing each other.

"Well get on with it." he requested.

It was then I told him everything. Reiner, my piano teacher. What happened in the bookstore. The party. Petra. My relationship with Armin and how it fell apart. I knew there were things he already knew that I was telling him, but I told him everything from the beginning so he had the full picture, and so there would be no more secrets between us. He looked slightly taken aback but he was quick to point out that he always suspected there was a bit more to the whole me having a panic attack in German thing. Of course. I even asked him if he was scared that I was capable of killing someone and he just shrugged and said that Reiner was a criminal and he deserved it. I mean he absolutely deserved it. But I was surprised it didn't change the way he saw me. He probably knew that incident was out of character.

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