Seizing The Day//A Modern Day Newsies Story//COMPLETED

Writing Is Hard

TW: Talk of rules

Crutchie POV
Okay, you got this. Just write. Ya know, like you always do for fun? Just WRITE. I encouraged. When it didn't work I groaned and let my head fall to the table. I had been trying to write about my experience of the rules for an hour, but nothing seemed to want to come out.

"Not going well?" Rosie asked, popping her head in. I turned to her with a dead-panned 'does it look like it is going well?' look. She grimaced and stepped into my room.

"I feel like I can't write. I have tried everything I normally do to get ideas. Nothing." I grumbled. Rosie sat down next to me and looked at the few words on the page.

"Have you tried writing about your relationship?" She questioned, to which I shook my head.

"It wouldn't really do anything. We are already a pretty secretive relationship, so the rules didn't really change that. Plus I don't want any of the gang to see this and realize that Elmer and I are together." I explained. Rosie nodded then put on a thoughtful face.

"I guess," I started. "Compared to some of the others I really haven't been affected. Of course it has taken a toll on me mentally and emotionally, but the gang is going through the same emotions. I don't have to cover up a relationship more than normal. I am not being called the wrong name or pronouns. I'm just, not really physically effected by it." I finished with a sigh, looking down. My eyes wandered to my crutch and I involuntarily shuddered, remembering the nightmares I had been having.

"Hey, just because everyone else is feeling the same things you are, doesn't null your emotions. You should write about what is happening to you because of these rules. Yes, it will be different from the rest of the gangs. Yes, it might not be as big of a problem, but it is STILL a problem to you! So write about the feelings you are feeling. Write about how you are trying to cope!" Rosie said, shuffling to face me. I turned my head and looked at her while she explained.

"Wow, you could be a life coach." I joked once her rant had finished.

"Ha ha, very funny. Now write! I will be back soon and if you have not written anything I will write it for you," Rosie threatened. She backed out of the room slowly, pointing her fingers to her eyes then at me. She glared at me as the door covered her face. Okay, so she can definitely be very scary when needed. I gulped, noting it.

I then looked back at my computer and took a breath. Write about what you feeling. I started spilling my guts out about numb, angry, and sad I felt all at the same time. I wrote about the day I promised to make things right. I wrote about the intense anger I felt when I saw anyone being blatantly LGBTQIADP+phobic in school, and how it made me even more mad now because there would be no punishments.

How you cope with the feelings. I then moved onto my coping mechanisms. I wrote about my talks with Rosie and my friend groups. I wrote about hang-out sessions with my unnamed boyfriend. I wrote about writing, and the stories that filled my drive. I even talked about stuff I found mundane but helpful, like walking Redbeard.

When Rosie came back in, I had written five (rather sloppy) paragraphs. She read them over and a smile crept onto her face. I watched intently as her eyes glided down the paper.

"I guess I would make a good life coach." She laughed, handing me back the computer. "It looks awesome. Very heartfelt. And again, even if some of the other guys are going through more, your feelings are still valid." She said, before leaving my room once more. I smiled and nodded, letting it sink in.

I went back through and edited it until it looked sort-of professional. Definitely good enough for what I needed it for. I composed the email and attached the doc. I didn't hit send yet, that was for Monday.