21. Teas and Traumas

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Years of trauma cannot heal overnight.

Shen Wei was the first one to wake up, but he instantly squeezed shut his eyes, too tired to fight the burn in them, too weak to bear the heaviness in his chest. It took him a few seconds to realise someone's presence on the bed, arm around his body, and soft fabric within the grasp of his fingers. Any other time, he would have flinched away, but he did not. It felt strangely soothing, the arms around him felt nice for a change. Shen Wei was not startled by the physical proximity he had with this person. The first time in his life, it felt safe, and he was not scared. On the contrary, the warmth this person oozed was comforting.

After living his entire life in solidarity, he wanted it. Even if it was short-lived. Suddenly, Shen Wei hated being so weak, so lonely, and vulnerable. He felt pitiful for himself. He let the shirt go and tried getting up, but he was gently pushed down by the strong arms. A slight wave of panic rose in Shen Wei's gut, but it was instantly calmed down when the person, pulled him closer.

"It is Sunday, you can sleep a little longer," a groggy voice appeared, and it did not take another second for Shen Wei to ease down.

A lump rose in his throat, he again grabbed on to the front of Yunlan's shirt, this time tighter than before and nuzzled deeper into the embrace. A single droplet of tear left the corner of his eyes, and he gave in to his craving for warmth, he choked on the urge to burst into tears.

Shen Wei needed love; Shen Wei needed something that felt like love...

* * * * * *

Shen Wei again woke up, his eyes still burned, he still felt soft in bones. But his heart ached to realise that the bed was empty. The palms of his hands were empty, the warm embrace was no longer there. It suddenly felt colder and empty. He hugged himself. With his knees tucked into his tummy, after a long time, he felt so lonesome.

"Are you going to spend the rest of your day in bed only?"

He quickly got up in the sitting position, everything blurry before his eyes while his head felt heavy.

"Here..."

His glasses were handed to him and there he could see, Zhao Yunlan with two cups of tea in his hands. Shen Wei looked at the man and quickly looked down, his stomach flipped in a strange manner. Yunlan handed one cup to Shen Wei that the latter accepted with a small smile.

"I mean you can if you want," Yunlan completed as he leisurely placed himself on the chair kept next to the bed.

"Fever's gone," Yunlan quickly placed his palm against Shen Wei's cheek and retracted, leaving the other person slightly startled for a brief moment.

Shen Wei was nervous, Yunlan smiled

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Shen Wei was nervous, Yunlan smiled.

Silence.

Both looked at the cups of tea in their hands, which made the silence all the more awkward.

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