i could be your pretty girl [clairo fan fic]

thirty eight

moons pov

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The night was continuing on, and me an Ezra were trying out best to enjoy it despite having seen Claire here aswell. For the most part we avoided her but it was inevitable that at some point of the night I'd bump into her.

Standing in the outskirts of a small crowd around the bar, I would glance over at her from time to time curiously, in wonder of what she was doing here.

"Do you think she is here alone?" I asked, leaning in close to Ezra and covered my mouth with my hand so it was harder to understand what we were saying.

"I suppose, who else would she be here with??" Ezra responded.

"true, she's probably come out here to meet new people" I agreed, as Ezra nodded also. 

We could see the band over the heads of people dancing and having fun, I did my best to loosen up and forget about Claire and my other worries. It was nice though, having Ezra to hang with and being around so many other people of a similar age to us.

I was bobbing my head along to the beat and just generally enjoying myself. I was feeling the moment and really getting into it. 

"hey moon?" Ezra began.

"you want me to buy you a drink?" He offered whilst flicking his flashing eyes to the counter. I was little skeptical considering I'd never really drank before, but with the influence of the night and everyone being intoxicated.... I decided to take the offer.

"hm... sure why not?" I said with a grin.

"okay nice! I'll get us something stay around this area, I'll be back" Ezra said and shuffled his way to the bar and began to order us something. Part of me felt as though this was a stupid idea,  but I was willing to take the risk since I was sure things would work out. 

I made sure to look out for creepy men this time whilst Ezra was away because of last time, but to my luck I wasn't approached and felt pretty safe the entire time.

I had became pretty acclimatized to the whole atmosphere of the bar, and this feeling of finally blending in with a group of people my age and having a really good time, felt amazing. Thrilling infact. As Ezra returned to me with a pint of some sort of drink I didn't even know the name of, he was greeted with a very jolly me, stumbling up to him whist dancing t the beat of the music.

The moisture from the glass clung to my sweaty hands, and dripped down my thumb, as I slowly lifted the glass to my dry lips to take a sip. At first the taste was rather bitter and strong, but then after half the pint, it didn't even shock me anymore.

Feelings I'd never experienced before came over me. The anticipation for the night ahead only grew stronger with each mouthful, blood filled with alcohol pumped through my veins, sending all sorts of signals to my intoxicated brain. And I had only had one glass.

The lights and the music although at the moment had only become more intense, as I tried to reflect over rather recent previous events, it had all began to blur into one big image of bright colours and dances. I was at the same level as everyone else here, we were all just having a good time trying to enjoy ourselves. 

*

Myself and Ezra were now standing in a  corner away from most of the action, as the light began to dull and fade in and out of their colours slower now. I only really realized when the music had stopped, how loud my ears were ringing, like a vibration of sounds that penetrated right into my skull. Never in my life had I thought the lack of sound could be so deafening. 

Time had ticked away faster than its usual pace, leaving me feeling a little dazed, especially in this very new environment. The booze had really taken its toll on my but I couldn't care less... since this is what being  teenager was all bout right? living like there was no tomorrow, feeling carefree, living life on the edge... because I was certainly on the edge.

My whole head was lopsided, my vision was a little skewed and I wasn't thinking straight. In that very moment I could sense how off balanced I was acting, yet despite this there wasn't anything that I could do to take back what had already been done.

with vision slightly blurred, and my iris' slightly burned from the lights, I stumbled clumsily over to Ezra and tapped him lightly on the shoulder. 

"what's going on? Did the band finish their set?" I asked him. 

"I'm not sure" he responded looking down at me.

"hm..." I mumbled to myself as I went back to look down at the glass on my hand.

"wait Ezra?" I once more tried grasping his attention.

"mhm??" he said, twisting his head i my direction but still keeping his gaze on the stage.

"how many drinks have I had??" I wondered, a little tone of concern sprinkled into my voice, but not enough for him to notice.

"I..... I'm not sure I just kept getting them the more you asked." he responded

"maybe 8 or 9?!" he said, but before I had time to even process what he had said, the roar from the crowd returned, clapping and cheering as a small figured girl walked up on stage.

I stood. Dazed for a second. Worried since this very sickly feeling was taking over my body. My legs were feeling weak and I began to feel drowsy. However, I was able to push back my worries to the back of my brain, and focused on the present.

It was minorly inconvenient, trying to see who or what was going on on the main stage. My perspective mainly consisted of the sweaty heads of people in front of me, or strange clouds of white blur invading my eyesight. I would blink furiously to clear them, then push my weight onto my tiptoes to see if I could see any better from there.

I could just  about make out the main scene occurring on the stage, despite their voices being blurred and deformed in my brain. Peering from the ground, I looked up at the stage only to finally have reality hit me.

I had snapped out of daze as my brain had finally focused on what I had just seen. 

"oh you've got to be kidding me..." I rolled my eyes temporarily looking away from the stage and back to Ezra.

"what's wrong Moon?? you ok?" he asked in a concerned tone after seeing the disapproving plastered across my face.

"look at the stage" I crossed my arms in frustration, glancing from time to time back up at the stage.

"oh SHOOT" Ezra said whipping his head back around after checking the stage, gritting his teeth anxiously.

"of course Claire would be called up on stage, I'm so damn unlucky" I muttered to myself so nobody else would hear. 

"hey Moon, it's okay I'm sure she wont even notice you." Ezra said in attempts to raise my spirits, but his attempts were unsuccessful. 

"oh..." I sighed.

I caught myself out. Wait... why was I upset? I should be happy that I'm out of this toxic situation with her right? so why did I miss her. Hearing those words crushed my soul a little. I guess I must have craved some attention from her or something.

Slowly turning my head behind me, as i felt a soft brushing on my shoulder. I saw May with a rather evil looking grin peering right into my soul.

"Oh... my god..." I sighed not knowing what ive gotten myself into.