i could be your pretty girl [clairo fan fic]

thirty three

Claires pov

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A day had passed since the event with moon, and throughout the entire time I've felt, conflicted and puzzled. Sitting peacefully on my desk, I gazed at the plain wall in front of me, spinning the small beige globe on my right situated next to a tub of sweets I had left open.

I was subconsciously keeping myself busy, for over the past day it had been rather difficult to process everything. So, I kept myself busy by doing small little tasks to keep my mind off things. As I was afraid f being left alone with my thoughts having chances to creep in on me. 

As I continued to spin this tilting globe, I picked it up in both of my hands to stare at more closely. That although recently felt trapped, a little consumed by my own world, that I had forgotten about the most beautiful and vast one outside. I had the whole world waiting for me and what was stopping me from just leaving.

I could technically go wherever I wanted and the only thing which was getting in my way from doing that was... Me...

I put the globe out letting my eyes focus back in from the daydreams I had been having most of the past few hours and days. Looking up at the clock to my right, the time read 5 pm.

"WHAT-? 5pm?!?! I've been sat here for hours doing nothing." I said to myself, hearing someone talk was comforting even if it was my own voice... I flicked back wavy hair which had clumped together since I hadn't showered in a few days.

"I need a walk..." I muttered. Standing up from y seated position, I went to grab a fleece, and a fluffy coat. I gathered my clothes in my arms, as I threw off the silky shorts I had been wearing for the past day, and found a pair of long baggy jeans which I thought were more publicly acceptable.

I threw on my clothes, but I didn't rush, I had all the time in the world and all the freedom I wanted. 

Once all the things I needed were on, I walked downstairs threw on the first pair of shoes I found and tied them onto my feet. My door to the outside world swung open and I knew I was ready.

Although I was leaving the safety and comfort of my own home, It felt great to feel truly alone for once. I stepped out into the cold crisp air which filled my lungs completely. This air made me feel as though I had been breathing the wrong air my whole life. It felt like a new start, one that i was ready for and shouldn't be upset about.

I locked the door. Turned around. Forced my eyes to focus as I had felt detached the whole day. Then I started walking. I had no idea where I was going. I didn't want to feel tied down my attachments, so I left my phone at home along with my money and pretty much everything other than my keys.

I took deep breaths as I slowly plodded along the cobble stone path of the town. The moon was a sharp crescent tonight, and the stars were shining brighter than ever. Seeing the world and hearing everything in it felt uplifting. 

With each step I took, the heels of my boots created a satisfying 'clop' sound and kept me in rhythm with the rest of the town. Distant car engines and chattering children from inside houses and cafes I strolled past would slowly come into my ears briefly, then leave again. Being alone truly gave you time to think, to hear the world as it truly is, and to take in moments you might have missed otherwise.

I had been so caught up in my own worries and my own life to realize how everything was. I would have usually not have looked up from my phone  for even a minute to see that the town has been decorated with beautiful soft white lights, draped from one side of the high street to the other.