i could be your pretty girl [clairo fan fic]

thirty

Claires's pov

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My feet bounced quickly, as the built up tension and stress inside me was overwhelming. I picked at my frayed shirt ends, as I sat on the bench parallel to Moon's college. I would often come sit here and wait for her after her classes.

Since she had not been answering any of my calls, I had began to wonder if she was okay, so I thought my best bet was to just go to the place we always went to, to see if I could see her anywhere.

I sat and waited for few minutes before I knew her class ended, and as I checked the time, I realized she would usually be out of class by now. On the bench I was sat on, I stood up in hopes I could spot her easier, or that she could see me.

Over the heads of people I peered curiously, to try and see if I could even spot her. But I couldn't spot her anywhere. my heart sank, this could have meant something more serious happened to her. Flustered, I had to make the decision of whether to stick around for  bit longer to see if i could see her through the crowds of people leaving, or to go home and try calling her multiple times once again.

"surely, if she was here, she would come and meet me at this bench like usual..." I whispered to myself. And just as I was about to give up, I saw Moon, cautiously wandering out of the college doors, books in hand and an anxious look plastered across her face. From afar it was hard to tell what she looked like fully, but I could faintly see a purple outline around the bottom of her face, as well as some scabs on her chin.

Quickly, I picked up my phone, and ran over to her as fast as I could. I couldn't even think about the pain she had been through the past few days, so I didn't hesitate, to plough through the crowd of people to reach her. Pushing past people left and right, and apologizing as I did so, I kept my eyes locked on her as I saw her walking. The bench wasn't too far from the college entrance, so I was surprise when I realized Moon hadn't spotted me.

I finally was in touching distance of her, so I looked her in the eyes and gave her a small grin. to my surprise, she instantly looked away from me, she didn't hold eye contact or anything. Most people were gone around us now, they had dispersed onto the collage grounds. however as I continued to try and grab her attention, she walked faster away from me.

"Moon!! Hey Moon?!" I shouted out. my heart rate increased since something I was clearly unaware of was wrong. She ignored my calls to her. So out of spite I sprinted over to her and gave her a big hug from behind. Wrapping my hands around her waist from behind I could smell the familiar clean scent from her shirts. And I could feel the softness of her hair against my face. It instantly made me feel comforted again, like I was home, life I was safe.

"Moon! What's up, I was so worried about you are you okay!?" I said still embracing her from behind, and speaking gently into her ear. But suddenly, I felt her tense up uncomfortably, so I thought it would best to loosen my grasp on her.

"is... everything okay?" i said softly, watching her turn around to look at me.

"Claire..." she mumbled in her soft tone as usual, which would usually give me butterflies. but this time something was off. it made me anxious, but for all the wrong reasons.

"yes?.." I replied, a little unsure.

"look, I don't know what's going on with us... you break up with me, and then you act like nothings happened the next day... I still like you a lot... but you did this to our relationship, I don't want to continue to act like this around each other knowing that I'm not in a relationship with you.."

I raised my eyebrows in confusion, my heart rate felt like it had stopped after hearing those words spill out of her mouth. 

"wh- what Moon I'm so confused, I didn't- ... wait... you're breaking up with me?" I said timidly.

"you heard me." Moon said sternly. For a second I thought I could see tears begin to well up in her pretty eyes, but I guess I was wrong. Because she walked away without another word, leaving me speechless.

after I paused for a minute, I tried to muster the courage to shout after her, to  ask for even  smidge of an explanation. As if my mind wasn't as jumbled before hand, it was even worse now. what had I done... this was all my fault. But... why.

In that time Moon had walked a few meters away, I was frozen, and unable to control myself, I was utterly baffled. So as soon as I regained any sort of composure, I whisked myself away after him.

"Wait Moon! please I'm so confused, why are you doing this." I strung my hand out in front of me, attempting to get bac to her. As my words rang through the air I watched her run a bit faster in the opposite direction. 

"No, Moon I'm begging you please, I need an explanation, what have I done wrong..." I said quieter than the previous time. She had stopped in her tracks now, she finally stood still, and a small spark lit up inside me, I hope she would actually here me out. 

She stopped in her tracks just around a corner on a small pavement leading away from the college. a few people were still dotted here and there but as a whole my mind had blanked them all out, it was just between me and her. 

Slowly, she swiveled back around slowly, and turned to face me. Her face now did had streaks, and tears spilling down her face. Just seeing that triggered me to become emotional as well. Approaching each other slowly, I didn't know what to do, it all felt so awkward, it had never felt like this before. As she silently grew closer to me, with each step of her converse onto the rocky pavement, my anxiety levels rose and rushed through my veins. 

she edged closer ad closer, her soft tender hands clasped onto her books and with each step her bag swung and hit her back. Then she was finally close enough. Close enough to hear her sigh. Close enough to even see her bloodshot eyes. I knew what was about to happen. I knew this was not going to end well. And I knew this was going to be the last time i was this lose t her again.

"come on Claire... please don't play dumb, don't make this any harder than this has to be" She hushed ever so softly, even over the sounds of cars driving on the road on the pavement, I could pluck out her soft voice over it all.

sniffling she said...

"To put it simply, my mum doesn't want me to be with you anymore, she never liked you, and I know I hate my mum, but... since you broke up with me anyways... I needed an excuse to be okay with it. I thought it was unlike you to break up with me since I thought things were going so well, but I can't blame you, my situation is a lot to deal with, and my mum is an asshole. So I guess I'm just saying goodbye now." She was completely broken down now, she was spilling her raw emotions to me in public out on the pavement. I was so grateful that she had given me an explanation, and although I was still pretty baffled it painted more of a picture of what she was thinking in my head.

"Moon, I'm so sorry, and I hope you know I don't think of you that way at all..." I hushed, and she came closer.

"its fine, don't worry about it, I'm sorry it has to be this way" she furrowed her brows, as she wiped her eyes with her jumper.

"but one thing I don't understand is that I didn't break-" I tried to say before she grabbed my neck and pulled me into her. She gave me one last kiss. it was sweet and unexpected. at first I was shocked but then after, I tired to make the most of it, since I knew this was probably the last time.

"wh- what was that for-" I asked even more confused than before

"goodbye claire..." she said and walked away without another word