i could be your pretty girl [clairo fan fic]

thirty nine

moons pov

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Quickly I flashed my eyes back to the stage, trying to stop the awkward tension between me and May.  

"oh for fucks sake..." I said slurred through my teeth, loud enough for the people around me to hear. I was truly fed up now. Looking back on the moment, I didn't really feel like myself the drinks had really gone to my head.

It was just my luck, the one time that I try to get away and feel better about myself, it just so happens that two people who I really don't get along well with happen to be there. No matter where I tried to look, they surrounded me. People around me felt towering, as all of a sudden I felt hemmed in by these hot and sweaty strangers. My heart rate was racing, beating in irregular intervals. 

"Ezra... Can we go home please" I frantically grasped his shoulder, steadying myself using my hand propped against his side. Those large blurry splotches returned to invade my vision, making it almost impossible to see the stage or anything further than 1 meter away.

"Moon let's just wait, this is the last part, the finale of the night, we literally can't leave now!" He exclaimed, not taking his vision away from the stage for even a moment to check on me. Furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. I sighed a little and agreed to just put up with the god awful situation.

I could feel my stomach bubbling through my body. Every inch of my skin felt disgusting. Not only was I in a highly awkward situation, but I was feeling immensely sick. My senses were all completely overloaded, and with the alcohol to accompany that it made the perfect recipe for a hangover. But this felt worse than a hangover, and it was beginning to worry me.

Standing there, I felt once again out of place, I was isolated in my own mind yet I was surrounred by many people. My hands were feeling detached from my own body, I my mind and my body felt no longer wired together.

However, as the crowd began to sing  in chorus, I realised that Claire on the stage had started singing. But not even her voice which I longed to listen to one last time, could snap me out of this state I was in. I was dazed. I was zoned out. I was completely out of it.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't even recognise the song. I knew it must have been a pretty well known song since everyone was singing along.

Before I could get even the shortest break, my arms were being pulled through the masses of people. I wasn't sure where I was headed. I wasn't even aware of who was dragging my hands. I didn't realise I was even being pulled so quickly through the crowd until my feet were struggling to keep up with my body.

I must have looked like a limp ragdoll, colliding with almost every person Asni was forcefully dragged towards the stage. My head pounded with each heavy step I took, my legs ached and were just barely functioning.

With the small amount of working neurons I had left in my brain I placed two and two together and concluded Ezra must had been the person dragging me. It felt as though I had teleported to where I was now standing with my sweating arms over the cold bannister of the stage. The temperature of the bar was actually slightly comforting.

Ezra stood next to me, his boney hands resting comfortably on my side in caution. I think his subconscious had realised I was definitely aware I was acting off. But not enough for him to actually want to leave.

I glanced over to him, and as he spoke his lips moved out of time with the words he pronounced.

„¡ǝɓɐʇs ǝɥʇ ɟo ʍǝıʌ pooɓ ɐ ǝʌɐɥ ǝʍ ʍou ʇɐǝɹɓ sıɥʇ ʇ,usı„ he spoke

"Wh... Huh???" I managed to mutter out in a hoarse voice. Processing, understanding, communicating with him was just too much for me to even do at this moment. And I realised what a mistake it was to drink so much.

Despite the loud music and colourful lighting, I found my eyes feeling suddenly heavy. My brain was beginning to shut off, I could feel my head suddenly weigh much more than it used to as each section began to power down like a battery slowly running out of charge.

Glancing my eyes upwards in what felt like my last moments of consciousness, I saw Claire standing, singing proudly on the stage. She was in her element and even though we broke up I still thought it was really amazing how natural she was on stage, and how passionate she became.

Subconsciously a small smile began to  pull my lips upwards as I watched her, entranced as she paced up and down the stage singing with pride. And for one moment I thought I was finally feeling alright. Although partially I believed I was going to pass out, at least I saw Claire happy for a few moments, at least she was really enjoying herself.

"Wh... What am I thinking..??" I was supposed to hate her for what she did. But all those spiteful visions had been temporarily erased. I just wanted to enjoy myself.

But... As my life seems to go, that small amount of joy I experienced was temporary and disappeared in almost an instant. My smiling lips transformed into a frown.

„˙˙˙ʇıɥs os sı sıɥʇ ɥo„ Ezra murmured, but although I knew he was talking yet I still could not understand what he was saying.

"What are you saying Ezra I dont understand..." I managed to pull those words out of my throat just barely without being physically sick.

Ezra just pointed towards the wings of the stage. Even though my blurry vision was prohibiting my ability to make out what was truly happening. I could just about make out the faint outline of Mays silhouette, as she slipped up the stage steps and ran towards Claire.

It felt as though it was all happening in slow motion. And although this moment only really lasted a few seconds, they were the longest seconds of my entire life. Mays hair flowed flawlessly down her shoulders, and I glared in jealousy of how good she looked, whilst I felt so awful.

Each step she took closer and closer to Claire on the stage my brain was flooded with even more emotions confusing me further. She approached her and got closer and closer. I watched tentatively, baffled as to what was even going on.

And then it happened.

Their lips met and the crowd cheered in a roar. In that moment time felt real again.

Claire and May. Just kissed. On stage infront of about 100 people.

What the fuck.

My heart sank. I know I shouldn't care but something about this felt so wrong, the anxious feeling I now had was only fueling how I'll I felt further.

Mays arms here wrapped around Claire's waist as she pulled her in close, just like I used to do with her. And Mays lips pressed against Claire's in passion just like I used to do with her.
And Mays hands ran through her smooth hair, just like I used to do with her.

But the part that hurt me most. Was that Claire kissed her back, just like she would with me...

I couldn't look for too long. I drew my eyes away as fast as I could, I didn't want to see that.

"Fuck Ezra..." I spat through my gritted teeth, as I felt my mouth begin to fill with saliva.

"Oh shit Moon... Oh god..." I managed to hear him say.

Before I knew it he grabbed my hair away from my face as I turned down hunched towards the ground. And spewed up all the drink I had just had.

How embarrassing.

"Moon oh god are you okay??" Ezra yelled in a panicking voice.

"Hm?? Yeah I'm... I'm... Alrig,-" I spoke as I fell. Letting my body hit the floor. Unable to move or speak. I simply gave in and let myself pass out.

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HEY GUYS!!! Just wanna say I really really appreciate all the support I'm getting on this fic. When I first started writing it I had no idea it would get any reads at all :,) so thank u to anyone who voted or read and commented it really makes my day.

Anyways I hope this chapter was interesting enough. <3 have s great day every1 xxx