i could be your pretty girl [clairo fan fic]

thirty one

moons pov

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That was, one of the hardest things I'd ever done. I was walking away from from the love of my life. But with tears in my eyes.

In all honesty, I didn't truly understand what just happened. I felt a mixture of confusion, and embarrassment. 

"ughhhh, what did I just do..." I hushed to myself. while walking away quickly. I couldn't dare to turn around, although part of me waited her to come back running to me, I knew what I did was permeant, and I'd never get back what we once had...

From time to time as I'd walk the wind began to pick up, leaves and gravel from the pavement whisked past me as I kept walking, and the worst part was, I had no idea where I headed, I wasn't returning home after this, I would be too ashamed and in no way did I want to see my mum. I couldn't take myself back, I would have finally done what my mother had wanted me to do.

The wind had really began to pick up now, and it blew right through my clothes onto my skin. Hopelessly, I sat on the side of the curb, and kept my knees close to me for warmth. Luckily, I was quite a good distance away from the college now, so here would be less of a chance of seeing anyone I knew. 

My knees ached, and my hands were beginning to get cold in the wind.

"shit, shit this isn't good." I muttered to myself. In no way had I thought this through, and I needed to stay somewhere. I mustered up the courage to look back at where I had walked away from her. I flashed my head back quickly, but what I saw was the empty pavement. 

"I'm such an idiot" I sobbed into my knees in the cold. I realized I had messed up when I secretly wanted her to come back to me. Lets be honest, it wasn't a secret I wanted her, but she was confusing me and I needed time to figure out what was going on with my mind and with my family. Every inch of my body hurt, mentally and physically I just hated the whole experience. 

"fuck...." I hushed to myself, my hands slowly grew colder, the the wind picked up tiny pebbles from the road that thrashed against my legs, like small needles. I was going to sit there until i had the energy to get up and start thinking about what I needed to do next, but each time i tried to force myself up, the colder wind would get to close to my core and it felt awful.

"moon?!" a deepish voice from behind my head came fluttering through the wind towards me. slowly, I swiveled my head around, to see a tall and slender figure in the wind jogging awkwardly through the wind towards me. My hair whipped around my face so I pulled my damp hair out of my face to try and get a better view of who it could be.

"Moon, what the hell are you doing-?!" as the figure grew closer despite the baggy shirt billowing in the wind, I could see it was Ezra.

"E-Ezra?! what the hell are you doing here!?" I shouted back at him, this time with no hesitation, despite the freezing wind, I was relived to see him.

"I could ask the same thing to you," he said more quietly as he grew closer. He grabbed both my hands as he helped me up from the ground. 

"Moon, you've been crying... what's happened?" He gave me a hug and pulled me in close so that I had some warmth.

"can I please explain later, can we just go back to your place please." I spoke in a frail voice to him.

"okay, of course lets go..." he said, and we started to briskly walk down the pavement. Luckily he has his small rundown car parked on the side of the road quite close to us. We sprinted over and he fumbled with the keys until he finally opened the small car and we both pushed inside against the force of the wind.