Finally Found

Chapter 25 • Comfort

My mind has been on overload since class yesterday. No amount of books could get me to stop think about what happened in my art class, I can't believe how I let myself open up to some boy I barely know, no matter how little he still knows about me. I felt surprisingly calm around him despite the butterflies in my stomach, but no matter how comfortable I felt around him I know I'd still be scared of him if I had to be alone with him. There was no denying Aaron had muscles and could easily overpower me if he wanted to, most people could.

I'm still trying to get used to my brothers and not let my body freeze up whenever any of them seem angry or just in a bad mood in general. I know I should be nervous around them and that they have proven in their actions that they respect my space and they wouldn't hurt me, but I also thought the same thing about John.

Clearly I am a bad judge of character.

It was Friday but school was cancelled for a teachers conference or something, giving everyone a longer weekend. Normally I would be happy for the extra day of no school, but school gave my mind something else to focus on and distract me.

I've been having these nightmares that seem to real making me lose sleep, thankfully I had some concealer that I got from my old friend before I moved here, which covered up most of my under eyes. My nightmares have all been the same theme just ended different each time. It all consisted of John finding and taking me, sometimes it ended with me getting away giving me false hope before he inevitably caught me again, or other times it ended with my brothers facing my demons for me and ending up hurt.

The latter scares me the most.

I can deal with him getting to me because I know what to expect and have already lived through it but I can't let my brothers get caught in the crossfire because of me. Which is one of the reason why I've been distancing myself from them staying holed up in my room or the gardens since they're never in there. They've been making it easy for me considering they've been busy with their work.

I know John is gonna come back for me the only question is when. He's told me repeatedly that I can't escape him and no matter how much I try he'll just bring me back.

So here I lay in my bed listening to the rain pouring down outside basking in the comfort it gives me.

Rolling over to the edge of my bed I check the time on my phone.

3:26 am

I roll my eyes at my pathetic self to scared to face her own nightmares, if I was anything like my brothers I would close my eyes and face my demons head on. Instead I'm just this weak little girl who's mind is to loud to let her have a moment of peace.

I slowly crawl out of the warmth of my bed, sucking in a breath when my bare feet touch the ice cold floor below me, sending a chill down my back.

Grabbing the fuzzy white blanket at the end of my bed I slowly make my way to the library to find a book to relax me.

I walk slowly down the hall as to not wake anyone up even though I know most of my brothers are probably up on the third floor stressing over their work. They spend so much time up there I wished they would let themselves relax and enjoy life more then worrying over things like work at two am, but then again who am I to talk.

Making my way inside the peaceful library my hands start tracing the spines of the books as my eyes scan them until something catches my eye. My hands pause on a book I've never read but always wanted to.

Milk and honey by Rupi Kaur

My fingers trace over the simple yet beautiful cover of the book. I curled myself up on the chair that was to big for me and opened up the book to a random page, reading the poetry written on the pages.