After waiting the rest of the week for this it was finally Thanksgiving.The last time I celebrated the holiday was with just my mom and I. John was away on business, I was sad at the time because of that but now looking back on it I'm glad he wasn't there.
After finding out about how my brothers never really care for thanksgiving I was planning on making this the best year ever for them by planning the day out.
It started with the decorations that Clara took me out to get, originally Matty offered but I didn't want him to see what I was getting.
Even if it's just simple decorations it made me happy to be able to decorate again.
Next step was the food which I didn't make but I helped come up with the ideas and do however make some of the desserts, or at least I helped.
Helping meaning being the taste tester.
But I provided good conversation.
I knew my brothers had to work in the morning which gave me plenty of time to get things ready and do something I feel I'm finally ready for.
That was how I found myself outside in the cool air with a brown coat and red scarf along with a picture of me and my mom.
I was six in the picture and my mom was giving me a piggy back ride around Disney Land. It was a happy time before she met John.
We were both wearing Mickey Mouse ears with huge smiles, her was perfect but I was missing my two front teeth at the time.
I set the picture down against the tree and pick up the tiny vanilla candle I brought with me, before lighting it.
"Hi mom, I don't really know what to say we haven't talked in so long." I sniffle while staring at her picture. "I miss the sound of your voice, I miss the smell of coffee you always had after working at the bakery. I just miss you."
"I wish you were here but your not, and I'm finally learning how to come to peace with that. I used to be so angry at everything after you died and then I was angry at John for hurting me, the school for not noticing, my friends for giving up on me. I was angry at myself, for not being able to do anything but sit there and take it. And then I was angry at you for not telling me about our family."By the end of my rant there's to many tears flowing down my face to try and stop it.
"But I'm not angry anymore, at least not the way I was. I don't understand why you didn't tell me I had brothers and why you purposely lied to me about it but I'm not angry at you for it anymore. I love Enzo, Matty, Luke, Emilio, Antonio and even Leo, even though he can sometimes be mean, but it just sucks that in order to have them in my life I had to lose you." My words aren't even coherent due to how loudly I'm sobbing.
"I wanted to tell you what I'm thankful for this year like we used to do. I'm thankful for a lot of things but what I'm most thankful for is my family, my chaotic confusing amazing family who I wouldn't trade for anything. My brothers are amazing, all of them no matter how different we all are, they've made me realize that I do deserve love and comfort and that it wasn't my fault about what happened with John, or you." I take a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart.
"And I'm thankful for you for making me the best person I could've been, you've taught me so much and given me unconditional love no matter what, even the days when I was rude to you for no reason. I love you so so much and I know I'll see you again someday, and maybe you can introduce me to my father when that time comes." Blinking rapidly I stare down at the picture.
"Okay so I'm going to go and get ready before the boys come back, I love you mommy and I promise go talk to you soon." With that I blow out the candle and pick up the picture while wiping my eyes on my shoulder.
YOU ARE READING
Finally Found
Teen FictionGabriella White is a 14 year old girl who's had to face more tragic events then a 14 year old should. At the age of 12 her mother was brutally murdered in a home evasion, which after closer investigation the police closed the case, so now stuck with...