The Consequence ✔︎ Blake Griffin

23 ✔︎Worse Before Better

Blake

"Why don't we start with what it's been like being back in your villa after such an extended stay at the hospital?" Dr. Kealoha asked to start our second session.

"It's been good, Doc. I'm trying to settle into a routine of doing my physical therapy with my PT, enjoying my family when they come visit, ya know trying to stay chill. Doctor's orders," I replied with a slight chuckle.

"That sounds like the way to go. I notice you didn't mention Jubilee though, and she is staying here with you, correct?" Dr. K probed.

Already, I knew this woman was no-nonsense. No wonder she was considered the best and Dr. Brown's first referral for us. I was beginning to see why we had to agree to individual sessions before our joint sessions could begin, and we were only on the first question of our second session.

"Uh yeah, I guess it's just that Jubilee and I are always together, so I didn't feel the need to mention her when talking about my routine."

"But, you just spent three months apart from each other, and then you were in the hospital while she was here for a couple weeks after you reunited, so surely, there's been some sort of adjustment for you two as well?"

Dr. K was not going to give up until I spoke the whole truth. The problem with that was that I'd been intentionally avoiding any truth that was too devastating to deal with as a survival tactic. I'd never faced a situation so demanding and so anger-inducing.

"That's true, Doc. I didn't think of it that way. I guess we actually haven't really adjusted yet? I mean, every day I'm kind of learning something new about how Jubilee has been living..."

I chewed on my lip while my wheels turned. Dr. K had me thinking, and if I'm honest, I was getting a little nervous about it because she was digging, and I wasn't fully prepared to unearth all that I was holding in.

"Something new? Can you give some examples?"

"Uh, sure. For starters, I found out that she hasn't been staying in the master bedroom, which is by far the largest and most beautiful room in the villa. And when I asked her about it, she said it brings her back to the day Trenton attacked, so she doesn't feel safe."

Dr. K nodded and wrote in her notebook, but didn't say anything, which I guess meant I should continue.

"She also has been exclusively wearing my hoodies and shirts unless she goes out in public, which probably seems normal, but she brought a whole suitcase full of clothes she's not wearing, and she has to wash clothes for me all the time because I'm only wearing about half of what I brought because she's wearing the other half."

"Mmm, I see. Anything else?" Dr. K asked as she continued to write in her notebook.

I sighed as the realization hit that the more I talked, the more I was finally calling out, and we'd only been in the villa together for 4 days.

"Jubilee is an amazing cook who used to never let anyone else cook for me unless I was taking her out. But, she's only cooked a couple times and asked the professional chef I keep on standby during the season to do most of the cooking here."

Saying that out loud for some reason was more hurtful than I'd realized. One of the ways Jubilee had always expressed her love for me was cooking, so I felt some type of way about her not cooking for me.

"Oh, and even after I agreed to stay with her in one of the other bedrooms, she normally will fall asleep with me, but when I wake up in the morning she's never in bed with me. I found her one day on this couch and another day in a recliner downstairs in the game room."