The Consequence ✔︎ Blake Griffin

9✔︎Never Give Up

I dedicate this chapter to -starrynite117 for her inspiration! I love that we just click as friends and as writers, and that when we talk and share it always gets me out of a writing funk, so thank youuuu! I love you, twinnie! 😩😭☺️😍💕

Blake

In complete exhaustion, I closed the tenth letter in the stack of letters of encouragement I'd received today from fans about my situation with Jubilee. My dining room table was covered in letters and gift baskets and tokens from all sorts of people who wanted to offer their condolences, their help, or their admiration for what I was experiencing and willing to be open about as it relates to my relationship with Jubilee. I'd been most surprised by the number of domestic violence organizations from LA and around the country that were reaching out and hoping that I'd be willing to advocate for them, which was all well and good, but I still couldn't do anything until Jubilee and my future child were back in my arms.

And so the media tour had continued, from The Jump to Undisputed, First Things First, First Take, and Sportscenter with SVP. You name it, I'd been on to share my and Jubilee's story. LeBron had even reached out to see if I wanted to do a segment on Uninterrupted, which I wanted to do but was slightly concerned about how behind-the-scenes it was. It was already difficult enough to share something so personal, let alone possibly letting people see how broken I was.

My motivation had definitely been sparked by the family meeting with the Carlisles and Jordan's brave display of courage and sisterly love every night of her concert tour, but I still was barely able to function. The only thing that even slightly helped me was spending time with Ford, working out, and writing my letters to Jubilee that I'd convinced myself she'd see one day. DJ had sunk as low as to ask me if I'd considered therapy, and at the moment I'd turned him down without a second thought, but at this point I was considering taking his advice.

With each day that went by the hole in my heart that Jubilee left continued to get deeper and larger. I felt like the probability of finding her or her seeing us all over the news and in the media lessened with each day that passed, and I was becoming more and more paranoid. What if Trenton was taking out his anger and frustration on her and physically abusing her because of all the media pressure we were putting on him to come forward? What if Jubilee was under so much stress that she miscarried? What if she wasn't even in the U.S. anymore? And my least favorite thought that now kept me up at night — what if she actually wanted to be with Trenton?

I got up from the table and headed for my room. I hadn't written Jubilee her letter for the day, and the feelings coursing through me were beginning to be too much. I pulled out a sheet of paper and a pen, sat down on my bed, and began to write...

Jubilee,

I'm feeling pretty down right now. Hopeless, even. I'm beginning to worry that you've forgotten about us and what we had...have...I don't fucking know anymore. I've been on every sports talk show possible, Jordan has her thousands of fans trying to reach you, each member of your family and mine has been calling LAPD daily to harass them into helping us despite the shit they keep throwing in our faces about the fact that you willingly went to Trenton, so they can't do anything...and nothing has broken yet. Nothing has changed, no progress has been made. Ford has stopped asking about you as much, and that's how I know it's been too long. And I don't know how much longer I can lie to him or keep him from giving up on you...on us. It's now been three months since you left, and I don't know what else I can do besides rent a hotel room in Sacramento and just drive around looking for you every day. I don't want to give up on us either, but I'm beginning to think that maybe you just don't want to come back and maybe I should just let you go.