NO GAMES X DABABY

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pregnant.

no. I check the other one.

pregnant.

My heart drops to my stomach, this can't be right, no no no.

I race to clean everything up, hands shaking, tears welling up in my eyes as I wash my hands. I just want to curl up in a little ball in a dark room with no thoughts. I have no idea what to do.

Gina knocks on the door, "what did they say sweetie, you alright?"

I open it keeping my head down, "I'm okay Gina thank you, everything's fine, I gotta go though." I slide past her, avoididng eye contact.

"well what did they say sweetie?"

"I really gotta go, but thank you for the tests, I'll stop by in a few days to check in." I rush to the front door and she gently grabs my hands, making me face her.

"Ta'Tiana I see you're upset, I'm sorry if I stressed you out or made you feel uncomfortable I just wanted you to be sure, it never hurts to be safe-"

"Gina it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong I'm fine, I'm fine, thank you, I'll see you soon okay." I give her a quick hug and rush out the door.

Gina is a sweet person, but she's not innocent, she didn't make a cobbler just to make a cobbler, because for who? She barely has an appetite, lives alone, and Jon's not even gonna be back till the end of the week. I know she made it to test my appetite, and she wasn't sorry for pressuring me to take a test, she just wanted me to stay long enough to tell her my results. And I don't blame her, I know she's doing this from her heart and she wants the best for Jon and I, I just feel to much pressure around her sometimes.

And apparently I'm pregnant, I've got a real life baby in me. I get into my car and punch my steering wheel, holding back heavy tears, rushing home.

I know Gina's gonna check the pregnancy tests I left in the trash can. But I wonder if she's gonna tell Jon or let me do that myself.

Fuck, how am I gonna tell Jon?

I get home and go straight to my room, not turning on a light, taking off my clothes and putting on one of Jonathan's tshirts, I get in bed and bury myself under my covers, feeling numb, there's a baby inside of me and I can't bring myself to touch my stomach. I feel like I can't breathe, there's a lump stuck in my throat and I can't even cry.

I wonder what Jonathan's gonna say, will he be happy? I know he's said he wanted us to have babies but I really doubt he meant this soon.

My phone vibrates on my nightstand and I answer without even checking who it is.

"Hello"

"Wassup Pooh."

And now I can cry, I break down at the sound of his voice, can't catch my breath.

"baby," i cry, I need him to know but I can't bring my self to tell him, and he's got so many shows I don't want to throw him off, and I want to tell him to his face so he can hold me and tell me it's all gonna be okay.

"Aye, aye Tati what you cryin for what's goin on mama"

"Did your mom tell you to call?"

"No she ain't tell me to call- what she got to do wit this- why would she-"Jon sighs, "Is my mama okay?"

"She's fine baby, she's fine I just got back from checking on her, nothings wrong."

"Then why are you cryin pooh, talk to me mama what's goin on, what's been up wit you."