Untitled Part 1

33

Harry's POV:

The rest couple of days at the Burrow have passed rapidly, meaning that we're going to be returning to Hogwarts some time very soon. Although I'm not quite sure if that's supposed to be a relieving thing or not. Yes, I am utterly eager to go back in order to make sure that the negative feeling in my gut isn't true, I do want to feel a soothed, thankful sigh escape my mouth the moment I know that he's okay—or alive I suppose.
However, as much relief this would guide to me, it was still not enough for everything to go back to where it was. Don't get me wrong, of course Malfoy's well-being is far more important to me than our relationship, but I wonder how we're still going to manage. How am I supposed to talk to him? Should I talk to him at all? Should I maybe thank him? Confront him?

Yes, I was mad at him. Of course I would be. He let himself almost die to save my life. I'm not letting something like that go so easily, in order for it not to happen again. A whole month and a few weeks have passed and I still couldn't wrap my head around it, why would he do such thing? Do I really mean that much to him? We used to loath each other from the bottom of our hearts, until this year. Everything's changed, I can't fully explain the situation but I think it's called mutual attraction maybe? Well at least that's what I think it is, or not. Does he think of me as something more than that? Do I too?

I mean one thing I know for sure is that yes, I am hella' attracted to that handsome git. I mean who wouldn't? I know that he has basically the whole girls in the school on their knees for him drooling, and the thought itself made me sick. I can't start feeling jealous just yet, or worse, possessive. Besides, by the look on his face anyone could figure out that he's severely not interested in any of them as they push themselves onto him forcefully. But now, the real question is... were girls the thing that he wanted?
Were they the thing that I wanted?

Well, speaking of me personally, ever since fourth year, I've been questioning my sexuality. I mean come on, Cedric was handsome, everyone knows it.
I smiled slightly and quickly shoved the thought away, my heart still aching from his tragic death.

But other than that, I always convinced myself that I was straight throughout the later years. It's not like I'm scared to come out, of course not. Basically almost everyone I know, or at least my friends (including myself), have zero problems with supporting homosexuals, and I'm glad to know that.

I mean yeah, girls are cool and all, it feels nice to be attracted to them, I still am, but something about boys seems exciting too...

More like something about Malfoy.

Kissing him felt as if a million electric shocks transferred throughout my entire body. The way he captured my cheeks with a tightening clench of his fingers and pulled me up by the face, making me feel like I was massless. His lips would crash onto mine again, with so much force that I was so sure my jaw would soon turn into dust under Malfoy's firm grip and from the way they collided.

I was always used to being the one in control, given the fact that girls were the only gender I've been with. But Malfoy... it was something different. It's not like I hate being controlled by him, no, it was the complete opposite in fact. I yearned for him to dominate me. For the first time ever I enjoyed being the submissive one.

As much as I missed all of that, I have to face reality and figure out how to deal with what was going to happen next. I have to make sure if whatever that's happening between him and I is something serious or not. At first, I would say mutual attraction and a slight bit of toxicity was the answer, but after last month, I wouldn't say Malfoy sees me as just enemies with benefits. He was willing to die for me, that's not something to be disregarded that easily.
However, me, I'm still confused about how I see him. I'm pretty sure I don't only fancy Malfoy, it could be more maybe. Now that the dark lord is gone, almost nothing would be standing in our way—that is if something more happens between us.