Untitled Part 1

50

~The next day~

Draco's POV:

Tap, tap, and tap...
The reoccurring tune caused by the half-run faucet in the washroom was more than capable to enhance my distraction. I held the book in my hands tighter, firming my grip onto the edge in attempt to regain my focus on the words—and it worked for a while, but that certainly did not last long enough.

Convincing myself that the sound of the water coming from the bathroom was the reason in which I could not focus, I finally snapped my book shut, trying my best to keep myself from believing that perhaps something else was on my mind.

Bloody hell Draco, stop it.
Stop thinking about it.
Stop thinking about him.

Gently placing my index finger and thumb along the bridge of my nose, an irritated yet quiet groan made its way out of my mouth. I managed to properly rest my head on the back of my seat, levitating my legs in order to relax them on the couch—thankfully everyone was down having lunch, meaning that the Common Room was empty, even though it looked like a complete mess after last night's occasion.

My lips formed into a thin line the second my mind mentioned the party—because that was exactly what I was not looking forward to overthink about.

I was not fully aware of how I felt after what had happened. My mind was racing with thoughts that wondered if how I'd acted last night was out of rage, or just because I am that type person—and besides that, there was also another question that ran through my head,

did I regret it?

A part of me wanted to, because deep down I knew that the way I behaved was not fair at all, and especially to him, given the fact that we had a moment at the library where everything was going well between us—where he unintentionally brought out the soft side out of me, and we finally had a normal, non-toxic conversation.
However, despite my inner feelings, the picture of the incident was still stuck in my head—the sight of De Martel's hand touching Harry's forearm as he pulled him closer, the sight of his filthy lips pressing onto Potter's precious lips ones—the ones that belong to me, and me only.

I still recall the feeling of my teeth being clenched too hard that they could've broke, my fists tightened to the point where my knuckles grew white. I simply cannot bare to see someone else with the person who belongs to me.
This is just who I am.
I do not share what's mine.

And yes, I knew that was toxic, but I had to take my anger and jealousy out on someone or something. With that being said, I remember storming out of the Common Room, barely being able to think straight. Even though I wanted nothing more to go up there and tear De Martel off of Potter, and completely destroy his face until it was all red and bloody instead of leaving, I did not want to cause big trouble—this school was kind enough to even let me in after everything I've done, so it was better not to ruin it just yet, and besides that, I also did not fancy Potter seeing this ugly and virulent side of me.

Walking rapidly through the halls as I recall, none other than the petty Astoria Greengrass decided to show up from around the corner—she fortunately was not invited to the party, given the fact that barley anyone liked her or could stand the presence of her. The only thing she has is money and looks, that's the only shit that keeps her relevant.

I do not remember quite well, but she had probably spoke to me seductively and permitted her hands to do their job as well—touching me and all.

And with me being not in the right mind—the blood flowing through my veins was stuffed with a mixture of rage and jealousy, with a bit of recklessness, I made the most rash decision and allowed the rest to go with the flow. Angrily slamming her against the wall and-

I willingly snapped out of my trance, or you could say disgusting flashback. How could I be so stupid?
And the worst part was that I acted even more carless towards Harry when he caught us.
He looked at me with his green orbs that were robbed of their spark, and held an emotion in them that made my stomach churn.
He had every right to be extremely hurt and betrayed at that moment and I knew it.
But the problem's that I simply do not know how to react after messing up bad.
Apologizing was most definitely not something usual to me, and neither was comforting.
Therefore, I let him see how toxic I really am by telling him all the possessive shit that I felt towards him—and the thing is that none of it was false.

"Asshole!" I nearly jumped as soon as I heard my dorm door open and saw Blaise walk in. "You really need to go and sort your shit out with Harry, mate."

"Blaise what the fuck!" I grunt, however still remained seated. "There's a thing called knocking, you should probably learn it." I paused as I watched him completely ignore me and walk in, throwing himself on the bed.

"So" He spoke, releasing a sigh.

"So?" I responded, pretending as if I did not listen to what he had said earlier.

"Did you hear what I said? Go apologize or something."

"I w-" I cut my own self off when a sudden realization hit me. "Wait," I muttered. "How the fuck did you know what happened?"

"Draco, you moron, you hooked up with Astoria bloody Greengrass and expected her not to go around and gloat about it to the entire school?" 

A loud groan escaped my mouth. "Wonderful." I mumbled, shutting my eyes close in irritation.

"Yeah mate, I know. Now go and do what you do worse, fucking apologize." Blaise suggested once again.

"You're acting like he's going to forgive me just like that, Zabini."

"Of course he bloody won't. You messed up bad, but it would be even worse if you left him hanging without any explanation, even though I really do not understand the reason either."

"Sod off. You know what I'm like when shit like that happens," I paused, placing my book on my lap. "and besides, how am I supposed to talk to him? I mean- when and where? There's no way he'll agree to meet up or something."

"I never said anything about that." Blaise interrupted. "Just go to his dorm."

"What?"

"You heard me, I talked it out with Granger. She said that he has a free period after lunch, and that she'll try to be there in order to let you in their Common Room." He elaborated as he proceeded to change his position on the bed so that he was sitting with his legs crossed.

I took a moment to process my options. I can either do what Blaise suggested and fix things with Harry, or keep things as they are and have him not speak to me for the rest of the year.

Obviously Zabini was not going to accept me taking the second option. As for me, I thought it through, and it turned out that I would really hate if our last year ends like this—with Harry being completely hurt and betrayed by me, the one person who's intention was to never cause any harm towards him whatsoever but in fact do the opposite.

So with that being said,

"Fine. I'll tell you how it goes."