The Dark Ghosts

34. Melanie

Melanie's POV

This was it. I was going to tell them. My hands were shaking and sweat was forming on my forehead. I was more than nervous, I was anxious.

"Can we go somewhere where we can talk more comfortably?" I asked shakily.

"Of course," David replied, flashing me a small smile.

We all stood up and headed to our home office. Once there, they all scattered around while I sat on the couch between Audrey and Sadie, trying to find comfort from them. They both held my hands in a reassuring grip, letting me know they were there for me and that I had their support.

I'm so grateful to have the girls here. They're going to make this process a lot easier for me. I know that if I don't want to, I don't have to tell the boys. But I think I'm ready. I need to let it all out and then maybe, just maybe, I'll feel better afterwards.

I'm scared that the boys will see me differently after I tell them my story. They are the first people whom I've trusted after the girls. That's big coming from me, and I really don't want to lose them. At first, I was intimidated by them. But now the sense of safety and belonging they bring me is just so comforting.

I took a deep breath, tightening the hold on Audrey and Sadie's hands, and studied everyone's faces. They were looking at me expectantly, but not in a way which would make me feel pressured. In a way in which I know I can take my time, as long as I'm comfortable.

"Ok, so you must be wondering why my mom behaved the way she did yesterday, right?" I started, earning a nod from the boys.

"Well, my mom, if she deserves that title, never really loved me," I said with a crack of voice. The boys frowned at my words, but I just took another deep breath and kept going.

"Neither did my dad," I chuckled dryly as tears started pooling in my eyes.

"Both of my parents met and fell in love in college. They were the type of people who always needed to have their life planned and organized. They decided they wanted to get married right after they graduated, and that's what they did. They decided they wanted to get settled in here in New York, find a job and then have a baby, and that's what they did too. They had a baby girl, my older sister Hannah.

"My parents' jobs didn't pay quite well, so they weren't doing well economically after her birth. It was enough to live the three of them, but they wouldn't be able to feed a fourth mouth. They wanted to wait a few more years to see if they could save up money and then, have another baby. But my mom got pregnant again, much earlier than they had planned. That baby was me. I was unexpected, and my parents saw me as a mistake.

(Trigger warning: mentions of neglect, death and depression)

"All of my childhood, I lived in my sister's shadow. She was mommy and daddy's perfect daughter, their pride and joy, their princess. Meanwhile, I was just a mistake, the person who broke the perfect system they had organized for their lives.

"I tried everything to gain their love and acceptance. I put all of my effort in school to get the best grades I could. I did all of my chores as fast and good as possible. I never asked for anything that wasn't strictly necessary. But they still ignored me and neglected me. The only one who ever got praised and pampered was my sister.

"However, Hannah had another view of me. She did see me as a little sister, as family. She helped me anytime I needed it, she gave me daily hugs, spent time with me wether it be watching Tv or just talking... She showed me love. The age gap between us wasn't big, just a year and a half, so we were pretty close.

"In fact, she was my best friend and I was hers. I didn't have many friends from my grade; I guess I've always been shy. My only friends were Hannah and her group. Even though I was a year younger, they welcomed me with open arms.