Dear Diary | Daryl Dixon

𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎- 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝

𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚁𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴 - 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙻𝙴𝙵𝚃

Dear Diary,
It has been about two days since we left the CDC, two days since I tried to die but Daryl stopped me. What is his problem? Why did he have to come back for me? Why does he have to further extend my suffering and misery? It's been two days and I haven't said a word to him. He hasn't said a word to me, either. It's better this way. I don't want to talk to him. He ruined everything.

It was starting to get dark out as the group made it to some old run down cabin to stay in for the night. They were planning to make the journey to Fort Benning to see if it was safe and they all intended on making it there in one piece. Anita, of course, didn't care what happened to her. She still wanted to die.

"Hey, you want some?" Anita heard. She turned around and saw Andrea sitting next to her, holding out a paper plate with some rabbit meat on it. Everyone in the group were sitting in a circle, eating their rabbit. Anita smiled at her a little and took the plate.

"Thanks." Anita mumbled.

"I noticed you....you stayed behind back at the CDC. Why?" Andrea asked.

"Why did you stay back?" Anita asked, making Andrea sigh.

"I lost my sister, probably been almost a week now. Losing her made me realise I have nothing left. There's nothing to live for anymore." Andrea muttered.

"The day you all found me, that was the day I lost my family to muertos." Anita said as he looked down at her lap.

"Muertos?" Andrea asked.

"You call them walkers. I call them muertos. It's Spanish. It means the dead." Anita explained before chewing on a piece of rabbit meat.

"You're Spanish?" Andrea asked.

"Half. Half Spanish from my mother, half Indian from my father." Anita explained.

"Nice." Andrea said.

"Anyways, our camp got overrun and I lost my parents, my older brother, all my friends, everyone. I felt alone and I wanted to die. I...I still do. Like you said, there's nothing to live for anymore. We both have nothing left." Anita sighed. Andrea let out a sad smile and rested her hand on Anita's shoulder.

Talking to Andrea made me feel so much better. I haven't spoken to anyone in the group about what had happened the day they found me, not Rick, not Daryl. Nobody. I feel better knowing there's someone who understands how I feel and what I'm going through. I feel like Andrea could be a real friend of mine.

"I understand how you feel. I've got Dale keeping an eye on me twenty-four seven. I think he's worried I'm gonna do something the second he turns away." Andrea said. The girls both looked at Dale and saw him looking at Andrea before looking at his plate.

"Are you?" Anita asked, making Andrea look back at her.

"Honestly, I don't know." Andrea shrugged.

"I've got Daryl constantly watching me, too. I don't get what his problem is. I'm not his responsibility. I don't even know the guy. I just want to be left alone." Anita said.

"I guess he's probably sick of people dying." Andrea said. They both looked at Daryl and saw him quickly look away from them before continuing to eat. The girls didn't know but he could hear every word they were saying.

"The world is already dead, Andrea. It's only going to get worse from here." Anita said. "I don't even know why I'm here. I can't fight. I can't defend myself against muertos."

"You know, I could always teach you. I'm still a little rusty with my gun but I'm good with a knife." Andrea offered.

"I'll think about it. Thanks." Anita said with a small smile. Anita knew she could use the training but what was the point if she was only going to die? Why waste Andrea's time?

----------

After spending the night in the cabin, the group decided the syphon the gas out of two of the trucks so they had enough for Daryl's motorcycle and the RV. Part of me thought about just sneaking away from the group whilst they were all distracted so I could just die in peace but before I could take a step backwards, Dale called me over to get into the RV.

"Come on, dear." Dale said, gesturing Anita to get into the RV. Anita looked at Daryl and noticed him still watching her, making her sigh. As long as Daryl was with the group, she wouldn't be able to slip away anywhere.

"Come on." Andrea said softly to Anita when she approached her. Anita nodded and stepped into the RV with Andrea. Everyone started their vehicles and pretty soon, everyone was back on the road, leaving the city once and for all.

Andrea and Shane were sitting together. He was teaching her how to clean a gun. Anita was sat next to Glenn. She was reading a book and could feel Glenn's eyes on her so she looked up at him but he still didn't break his gaze.

"Everything okay?" Anita asked.

"Yeah, just trying to figure you out." Glenn said.

"What do you mean?" Anita asked before marking her place in her book and closing it.

"I'm trying to figure out what may have happened to you, why you were on the side of the road alone that day with no food or weapons." Glenn said. "Did you lose someone that day?"

"I lost more than one." Anita sighed. "My parents, my older brother, my friends."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Glenn said as he looked down.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. It's just how the world is now." Anita said.

"Is that why you wanted to stay behind at the CDC?" Glenn asked.

"Pretty much." Anita shrugged. She liked Glenn. There was no reason for her to be cold to him. She was pretty much only ignoring Daryl.

"Oh jeez." The group heard Dale sigh. What was going on now?