Dear Diary | Daryl Dixon

𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎 - 𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚕' 𝚍𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎

𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚁𝚈 𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙴 - 𝙲𝚄𝚃𝙴 𝙻𝙸𝙻' 𝙳𝙸𝙼𝙿𝙻𝙴

Dear Diary,
Today was a rather strange day. I tried my hardest to be positive, to think of good things to keep me from going back to that dark place. I barely saw Daryl yesterday after the service. I know he's still upset that Sophia is dead. He spent all his time looking for that little girl, taking an arrow and a bullet in the process. This morning, I found out Beth had gone into a shock when she saw her undead mother being killed. Rick and Glenn went to find Hershel so he could help her and they finally arrived in the morning...but they weren't alone.

Rick gathered everyone in the house to tell them what was going on with the man they had brought back. His name was Randall and he was a part of a group that attacked the three in town.

"We couldn't just leave him behind. He would have bled out if he lived that long." Rick said to the group. Most people were sitting except for Maggie, Shane, T-Dog and Andrea. Anita was sat next to Glenn.

"What do we do with him?" Andrea asked and it was a good question. Hershel came inside and told the group he had patched up Randall's leg and Rick said they would give him some food and send Randall on his way. Anita didn't know how she felt about that. This was all so new to her. She was glad she wasn't the group leader. She admired Rick for making all these tough decisions.

"Isn't that the same as leaving him for the walkers?" Andrea asked as Daryl walked inside. Anita looked at him and he nodded his head in acknowledgement. She smiled at him a little. They hadn't spoken since Daryl saved her life once again the day before. Anita knew she had to talk to him about what she had thought about and decided.

"You're just gonna let him go?" Shane asked. "He knows where we are." Rick and Shane started arguing again and Anita sighed. It seemed the two best friends were always butting heads and Anita had a sneaky feeling it had something to do with Lori. She looked at her and Lori looked back, knowing this was about her. Anita felt a presence behind her and knew Daryl had moved to stand behind her chair. He had his hand on the back of the chair and using his thumb, he softly stroked the back of Anita's shoulder, giving her butterflies in her stomach.

"He was blindfolded the whole ride here." Rick said and the two began arguing again. Shane eventually stormed off after getting told off by Hershel and the group dispersed to do their own thing.

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After the group discussion in the house, I left to find Daryl. I figured we needed to talk since our 'argument' yesterday. I eventually found him sitting near his tent, polishing his crossbow. I don't know why but every step that I took towards him made my heart pound harder and harder. When he eventually noticed my presence and looked up at me, my heart did a full three sixty. I don't know what's going on with me.

"Everythin' alright?" He asked before looking back at his crossbow and polishing it.

Anita decided to sit down next to him and pull the rag Daryl was using out of his hand, making him look up at her. "I'm sorry." She said. "For everything. All the trouble I put you through, all the stress, all the fear of me taking my life. I'm sorry." Anita said.

"Nah, ya' don't need to apologise. Yer in a dark place." Daryl said before putting his crossbow down on the grass.

"I was. But....I don't wanna be anymore." Anita said, intriguing Daryl.

"Really? That's what ya' said last time and-"

"I know. I just....I thought about what you said yesterday. I wanna live. I wanna try. I wanna fight. I don't know what's out there that worth living for. I don't know what it is or maybe who it is. But...I wanna know. If there's any chance of happiness for me out there, I really want it." Anita admitted, making Daryl smile a little. That was all he ever wanted to ever hear from her. All he ever wanted was for Anita to be happy. He wanted to make her happy, he wanted to make her smile, he wanted to make her laugh, he wanted to kiss her.

Wait, what?

Daryl shook his head slightly and looked back at Anita who was still talking. He was just going to forget he ever thought that. "....and I know it sounds so selfish of me to ask since you've done so much for me and I owe you my life, probably more than that but I was wondering if you'd continue to...help me." Anita said. "Back at the church, I was talking to the statue of Jesus Christ and I asked who my guardian angel was and suddenly, you were there."

I'm not a girl that believes in superstitious stuff but I truly believe God sent Daryl to help me. I know He did.

"I don't usually believe in all that crazy stuff but...you've really helped me in ways I don't think anyone else could." Anita continued. "If you don't want to, I totally understand. I would just feel a lot better-"

"I get it." Daryl said. "Everything I said yesterday, I meant it. I care about ya' and I want ya' to stay alive. I will always watch over ya', whether ya' like it or not. I've been doin' that since the start and I'll carry on doin' that. But ya' need to remember, yer so strong, so much tougher than ya' give yerself credit for. There'll be a time where you ain't gonna need me no more but I'll always be there."

What Daryl said to me warmed my heart. I feel so lucky to have a friend like him. He's doing so much for me and he hasn't asked for anything in return. Whichever girl he ends up with is going to be so lucky. Too bad that girl will never be me.

"Thank you, Daryl. This means the world to me. You have no idea." Anita said as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and smiled softly at him.

"Yer should smile more often. Ya' get a cute lil' dimple right here." Daryl said, placing his thumb just on top of the corner of her mouth. Anita did everything in her power to stop the small blush from arising on her cheeks. Their eyes met and for a few seconds, the world seemed to stop spinning, as if everything was frozen in time. Anita felt shivers down her spine when Daryl began stroking her cheek a little with his thumb. He slowly trailed down from her cheek to her top lip, then to her bottom lip.

Daryl wondered what would happen if he tried to kiss her right there and then. Would it ruin everything? Would he ruin their friendship? Would Anita consent to it?

As I was sat there with Daryl, his thumb stroking my cheek, I really wanted to kiss him but I didn't think he'd like that idea so I didn't move. Maybe I should have. But maybe that would ruin things between us. Daryl and I are in a really good place and I don't think either of us want to ruin that. Maybe that's why Daryl ended up moving his hand away.

Both Daryl and Anita looked away from each other, not knowing what to say to each other. What was that moment? What did it mean? "I....I'm gonna go...and find Lori. She looked pretty upset earlier." Anita said before standing up. Daryl nodded as she handed his rag back to him.

"Just.....stay safe, okay?" Daryl said. Anita smiled a little and nodded before turning away and leaving, smiling and blushing.