Dear Diary | Daryl Dixon

𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎/𝚙𝚝 𝚝𝚠𝚘 - 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢

𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚁𝚈 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴/𝙿𝚃 𝚃𝚆𝙾 - 𝙰𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙾𝙿𝙿𝙾𝚁𝚃𝚄𝙽𝙸𝚃𝚈

When we arrived at a highway, we all saw a bunch of abandoned cars blocking the way. We all tried to get through but there was no way, especially after the RV broke down. Seeing all those cars left there...it felt like a scene in a horror movie. I can't imagine what had happened that day for all those cars to be left like that but quite frankly, I don't wanna know.

When the groups members all got out of their vehicles, Dale said he needed to fix the radiator hose for his RV. T-Dog told everyone to have a little look around the cars to syphon fuel and hopefully find some food and water. Anita sighed and began rummaging through the trunk of a car. Inside, she found some clothes, some food, toiletries and a few empty notebooks which she figured would come in handy for her diary entries.

She stuffed them all in her bag and had a look in another car. There was a dead corpse sitting inside in the driver's seat but it wasn't a muerto. Anita looked towards the back of the car and saw a bag sitting on the seat so she opened the door, coughing when the stench of rotting bodies hit her. She covered her nose and picked the bag up before closing the door again. She set the bag on the ground and unzipped it, revealing a bunch of knives, big and small.

I have to admit, I was satisfied with the bag I had found. All those knives can be proven useful if anyone runs into any muertos. And speaking of muertos, another opportunity for me to finally die had risen and this time, I wasn't letting the opportunity go to waste.

"Everyone get down!" Rick whisper shouted at the group. Anita heard groaning and saw a whole group of walkers emerging from a car and headed straight towards them. Whilst the rest of the group had begun hiding under cars, Anita didn't move. As she watched the muertos get closer and closer, she had found her opportunity. It was as if fate was telling her that she was in fact, meant to die and God was giving her that chance.

Anita didn't feel scared. In fact, she felt relieved. She had another chance to be free of all the pain she had been going through. She could finally leave this cruel world. When Anita looked behind her, she couldn't see anyone, suggesting everyone had hidden under the cars. She turned back to the muertos and slowly began walking towards them, hearing their groans getting louder and louder with every step she took.

The distance between her and freedom was getting smaller and smaller but before she could take another step, a large hand clamped over her mouth and another hand pulled her down before shoving her under a car. Anita went to scream but her mouth was still covered.

I felt like bursting into tears right there and then. There I was, laid on my back with a large hand covering my mouth, preventing me from making any noise. When I looked to see who it was, I was shocked to see Daryl. I hated Daryl in that moment. I still hate him. Yet again, he took away my opportunity to die, to be free.

Anita struggled under Daryl's grip as she tried to free herself, all whilst muertos were dragging their feet past the car they were hiding under. Anita tried to scream or cry out but her mouth was still covered.

"Shhh." Daryl whispered with a struggling Anita laid under him. She eventually stopped struggling when she realised Daryl was never going to let go. She took a deep breath and just laid there on her back on the ground, watching the muertos' feet drag past them. Tears fell down her face as she watched her chance to die walk away from her. Why did Daryl have to save her again? Why wouldn't he just leave her alone?

"Please..." Anita managed to mumble. Daryl looked at her, his blue eyes sparkling a little before he looked away. In his eyes, she looked so defeated, like she really had given up but Daryl was determined to keep Anita alive at all costs. After overhearing Anita's conversation with Andrea the night before, he knew why Anita was making all these decisions to end her life. He understood. His brother was lost, his only family and that made him feel alone in the group. But his brother was still alive. Anita's family was dead.

When the muertos had finally passed, Daryl and Anita got out from under the car they were hiding under. "Why do you keep doing this to me? Why?" Anita asked as tears ran down her cheeks.

I was so upset with Daryl for constantly saving my life. I still am upset with him. He keeps denying me of the freedom I'm so desperately seeking. I just wanna be with Mom, Dad and Mathias again. Is that so much to ask?

"I'm not letting ya' die." Daryl said, making Anita hold onto her head in frustration.

"I'm not your responsibility! You don't have to take care of me! Please, just leave me alone! Please, just let me die. Please." Anita cried before breaking down into heavy sobs.

Daryl felt his own heart growing heavy at the sight of Anita. She really was broken. She had really given up on everything. Daryl sighed and reluctantly wrapped his arms around her, giving her a light hug and Anita sobbed into his chest. "Just let me die." Anita sobbed.

I may be upset with Daryl but I have to admit, being in his arms felt....nice. He was big and warm and for the first time in a long time, I felt.....okay? To be honest, I don't know how I felt. All I know is that I am not happy being saved by Daryl yet again but being in his arms....I don't know.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Jasmine." Daryl said before she pulled away from him. Her light brown eyes were filled with tears that were glistening in the sunlight. Her tan, olive skin was now pale, only the tears on her cheeks glowing in the light. Her nose had gone slightly red and she had small bags under her eyes. Anita really wasn't doing very well and Daryl was determined to look after her, to keep her alive at all costs. He wasn't going to leave her to die like his brother was.

"Sophia!" The pair heard Carol call out. Anita sighed and wiped her tears before they both went over to the rest of the group to see what was wrong.