Atlas Grove, once a dancer with dreams of dancing under the stars, now lives petrified in the shadows of abuse. To escape her living nightmare she must keep her head down and work hard, being her senior year this is her last chance to get out. Altho...
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She's not at school today... that or she's avoiding me. I can only presume it was because of that kiss... well almost kiss.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!
Is she avoiding me because we nearly kissed?
Why did I nearly kiss her!
Even worse, why the fuck do I want to do it again... actually go through with it this time.
I bang my head against the metal of my locker and a groan escapes my parted lips. The hallway's deserted because it's lunchtime but there's no way I'm sitting at that table if she's not there.
But what if she is? Would she get up and walk away if I walk in?
Oh fuck me, when did you get so soppy Blaze... so fucking cliché? Wake up, why the fuck are you second-guessing yourself all of a sudden? This is why you can't have a girlfriend or anything of the kind. Atlas is just a friend and your mind is already obstructed by her.
Although... I want to kiss her so badly... I've been thinking about it since New Year's Eve at Rutherfords. When I held her in the hallway and our eyes met in a room full of people as the clock struck. I can't describe the static, blazing feeling it created. It was so strong... unlike anything else I've felt before.
It was a total heat of the moment thing anyway! Looking back it would have been an awful idea to go through with it. I wonder if that's why she's avoiding me? Maybe she hates me now? She looked like she wanted it as much as I did, I could feel her pulse under my fingers when I held her arms back, she even moved towards me- I'm sure she did... but then she shouted at me.
She literally screamed at me to get out of her house, saying it was a mistake to bring me there. She was on the verge of tears and I let my fucking anger control me, I stormed off. Like a stupid child.
I curse myself out into my locker shaking my head. I can't believe I left her with that guy, alone. I know she said she had strict parents but he was something else. I've been around a lot of... criminals and even their faces wouldn't amount to the pure anger and disgust on that guys face. He looked ready to shoot someone, steam blowing out of his ears. It was... almost frightening. She looked petrified, on the verge of tears.
Such a fucking idiot Blaze! Why did you strop off like a child, you shouldn't have left her!
I've had this unsettling feeling in my stomach ever since I drove off. I thought about calling or texting but quickly thought against it and threw my phone against a wall. Hearing the screen shatter was both a weird release and another dissipating thing to add to my résumé.
After much sulking around my locker in the empty hall, I decided to go see if she was in fact eating lunch at our table, at least seeing her physically might ease my mind slightly.
We should probably talk? That how it's done isn't it? People, who are friends who nearly kiss then avoid each other but don't want to lose what they had before- those kinds of people talk?
