Atlas Grove, once a dancer with dreams of dancing under the stars, now lives petrified in the shadows of abuse. To escape her living nightmare she must keep her head down and work hard, being her senior year this is her last chance to get out. Altho...
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Someone, please send help from above.
My uterus is trying to kill me.
Why the frick do we need to bleed with such pain. Men should bleed for a week every month and see how they fricking cope.
I've been so caught up revising the last month and with everything else going on, to say I was shocked when my friend appeared this morning was an understatement... followed by a few choice curse words. Don't get me wrong, I know women shouldn't be embarrassed by periods- completely natural thing, cannot be helped- and I'm not for the most part but it just crushes me because It's a week I can't dance or do much.
It probably sounds dramatic but I've always had the worst periods, the cramps are so bad I can't move and painkillers are childsplay that don't even remotely work. My mood swings are abysmal and I'm either angry or depressed, my whole body aches and the nausea is excruciating. I was at my therapy session this morning when the onslaught of extras came hurtling in and I just cried the entire way home, half from pain but half from being so damn emotional.
I think I've also scared the living daylight out of Blaze, he's had no idea what to do. On occasions even asked his mom if he needed to take me to the hospital, bless his heart. To which both I and Helen laughed. She simply gave me a hot water bottle, some strong painkillers and dug out a stash of Reeses she had hidden in the cupboard- I could have cried- actually I probably did.
And since then I've been lying in Blazes bed, moping, but I think for bleeding monthly and producing life I'm allowed to mope for a bit. Blazes laptop is open and currently playing the second season of Shadowhunters, a show I favour superiorly, whilst I cacoon in his black duvet surrounding myself in his citrus and minty scent- hot water bottle pressed to my lower abdomen.
We had such an amazing time at the lake a couple of days ago and every time I think about what happened...in the lake, my cheeks deepen... I returned the... favour... on the way home. Blaze pulled over at the side of the road secluded by trees and miles of endless road, thank the lord VJ and B got a lift with Ethan and Carrie. The stars were just descending over the trees and I think the moonlight peeping through the branches killed off any self-control I had... things went... further... than anticipated.
Now bunched inside the duvet I wish we were back at the lake, I love having the time off but being in pain is a severe downside along with the mounting list of things I need to do taunting me. Blaze had to pull an algebra book out of my hands this morning and propped me up in a fort of pillows, giving me control of Netflix on his laptop and saying he'd be back soon. I'm not sure where he went but it's been a good forty minutes and as warm as the bed is I'm starting to feel like a bit of a slob.
Maybe I should help Helen, I can hear her tinkering away in the kitchen, pots and pans clattering on the surface tops. I push myself up onto my elbows and slowly pull my legs from the cover, slumping them over the side of the bed and easing through the screaming in my abdomen and aches running through down legs and into my back. Lord send fricking mercy...
