Lost but Found

Chapter 35

This chapter is dedicated to Leona3042 for all the votes, thank you so so much and also to those who commented, your comments and private messages made me write this chapter today. Thanks you so much.

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Regret is the only way to describe what I was feeling

Smack

"Why did you do that!"

Smack

"All because of a boy who doesn't even like you"

Smack

"You are pathetic"

Smack

"You have anger issues and nobody will ever like you more or less love you"

Another hard smack

"You disgust me"

Smack

By now, tears were flowing freely from my eyes, how could I have been so stupid.

Gosh, I hate myself right now.
I'm not sure I'll be able to face anyone right now.

After I left the school grounds, a wave of shame hit me because of what I'd done, her words weren't that hurtful but I lost control of my mind.

I went to the park very close to my school and sat down on the bench regretting my decision.

Since then I've been beating myself up for it. literally.

So many people gave me worried glances, some gave me confused glances while others just ignored me.

"Don't be hard on yourself" I didn't need to look up to know who spoke.

"What do you want now, can't you just leave me alone. I don't have the strength for this"

He just ignored me and sat on the bench with me. I got up ready to leave but he pulled me back down

"Look, I need to talk to you"

"Don't. I don't even want to look at your face"

"I saw what happened at the library, okay, and she deserved it"

"She didn't okay, it was my mistake, I just got angry and jealous, and I took my frustration out on her" I snapped

"Calm down feisty pants. Do you want to go to jail again for physical assault?" Drake asked

I didn't answer his question and he just sighed

"Well, your anger was justified, she was going too far and-"

"Look who's talking, going too far?, you tried to force yourself on me and you were my brother"

"Look, I'm sorry for that okay, and I know no amount of apologies will make up for what I did to you for so many years, I just- I really liked you okay. Yes, I said it, it's out in the open. I was frustrated, it was wrong in so many ways. You were my sister and I was told to hate you, my parents hated you so much and they made it my duty to hate you too. I had to make your life living hell if I didn't want to end up like you. My mother would have made sure I got bullied just like you did" he paused

"I had to feign hate towards you and do you know how much it hurts to hurt someone you like. I couldn't tell you because,one, you'd have only hated me more if I told you and two you would reject me because I was your bully and your brother, when we grew up, you turned more beautiful and anytime you walk past a guy in school, they'll always look at you in a way that made my blood boil, and I took that anger out on you, I hated the fact that you hate me, I hated the fact that you were my sister, and I hated the fact that I couldn't date you. I slept with tons of girls to get my mind off you and it worked for some time. I just wanted just one chance with you" he said with his head down

Wow

Wow

Wow…

That was just the way I felt for Aiden. I hated seeing him with anyone,I just wanted one chance to prove that I can be a good girlfriend.

I'm not so sure about my feelings anymore, I think what I'm feeling for Aiden is possessiveness…not actually love.

Love is…I actually don't know what love is.

I've heard so many time that if you love someone, and they don't love you back, you have to let them go.

You have to think about where that person happiness lies and if that person is not happy with you…it means…they don't love you.

Aiden doesn't love me, he doesn't even have feelings for me, I'm just his best friend…a friend…that's all

I have seen the way he looks at that girl and I can see pure adoration in his eyes.

But my heart aches even thinking of him and that girl together. Yes, she's pretty and anybody can easily fall in love with those eyes of her

But…am I not lovable?

I'm so lost right now.

"Look Anna, it's pointless of me to tell you this right now, I've moved on, and I guess you should too, that Adam boy will never like you, he has his eyes set for someone else"

"His name is Aiden"

"Whatever, I just wanted to pass my point. Grow up for once. Oh and I took Alyssa to the nurse's office. Your secret is safe. No one will know you were the one that damaged her face"

Oh, that's her name.
Not bad.

"What did you do?"

"Let's just say I worked my charm on her"

I just rolled my eyes

"I need to go, I have math class 7 minutes from now"

"Since when did you care about your classes"

"Since I found a hot chick ready to mingle" he winked.

I just fake gagged and he laughed, shook his head and left.

What I had done was wrong, I have to get punished for it, I won't let people cover up my mistake while I stroll on the streets with my head held high. No, I will pay for what I did, because if it were anyone else in my place, my brothers would make sure they regret ever been born.

"I know what to do" I said to myself and got up ready to own to my mistake