Alice Avery
I couldn't even think about it, I felt the urge to throw up every time it popped back in my mind. It's a week later and everyone knows, everyone knows what a liar he is. Everyone knows what he does, well, what they do. Everyone knows but we never talk about it, we never will. Not many people were surprised, they figured he was involved with sketchy people. I did too, I just never imagined it would be Vince.
I hadn't cried since the night he told me on the beach. I'm just angry, full of nothing but hate. There are some moments in the morning when I wake up and I forget all about it and I picture what Ricky and I will do that very day. Eventually, it all comes flooding back and I get chills when I remember.
I didn't miss him, it was beyond me. I hated him with everything I had, I hated myself too, for allowing myself to trust him. I wanted him to suffer, I wanted revenge. I knew it wouldn't help or change anything but I still wanted it. No matter how sick it was, I wanted him to hurt worse than I did.
I had a race tonight, Razzle didn't tell me who it was which most likely means it's Trent or someone Razzle thinks will get in my head. I was winning tonight, I already knew. I didn't have much now, I didn't know what was next for me but I had street racing and that's all I needed for right now.
I headed down to the race and convinced myself that I had a clear head. I believed I was in denial, that it hadn't sunk in yet , but I know it has. This was my way of dealing with things, by not dealing with them at all.
It was packed tonight, people were scattered everywhere as I drove slowly to the start line. I didn't bother to get out of my car, I didn't feel the need to greet anyone.
Candace pranced her way through the cars, I looked at her differently after everything Ricky had revealed. What does she have that I don't? It wasn't her fault and I was aware of that, it's not like Candace knew about Ricky and I, we weren't even exclusive.
I escaped my thinking once the flag dropped. I didn't know who was in the car beside me but it didn't matter. I raced ahead of them and it seemed that they stuck to the same speed, not at all trying to get in front of me. This lasted majority of the race but as I neared the end I began to slow down. I stopped my car once I crossed the line and then got out. The other car drove in slowly and stepped out as well.
"Oh for fucks sake," I breathed out annoyed. "What are you doing here?"
"Congratulations." He commented, completely ignoring my question. He wasn't even on thin ice anymore. he had fallen deep into the freezing water, sinking slowly to the bottom.
"What the hell was that, Ricky?" I gestured towards the road. "You didn't even try, you didn't even go after 50."
He shrugged, looking like a loss puppy. His hands in his pocket, his shoulders slouched, his face was filled with self pity. He wasn't standing tall, he had given up completely.
"You didn't even try!" I said with a louder tone and pushed him. He didn't move, I tried again. "Why didn't you try?" I pushed a third time, "you didn't try!"
"Alice!" A voice boomed behind me, Razzle and Mandy stood a few feet away. "Walk away."
I sighed out and turned back to Ricky. "You're a fucking coward, you know that?" I voiced before I walked away.
Mandy wrapped her arm around me, "you okay?"
She knew the answer so I ignored the rhetorical question.
"Who's throwing the party?" I asked
"Trent," Razzle sighed.
"Great," I said. "I'll meet you there."
