Alice Avery
We were too jet-lagged to get married. We got back from Santa Monica yesterday night and just stayed home for the night. It's late in the afternoon now and Ricky and I plan to go to Donna's.
I was settled into Ricky apartment, which I guess now I could consider it ours. The rain pattered against the windows, it was cooler today. I pulled my vans onto my feet and grabbed my keys. "Are you ready?" I hollered at Ricky and his footsteps sounded closer.
"Is this what living with you is like? Are you always in a rush?" He asks jokingly and slings his arm around me comfortably.
"You just move obnoxiously slow," I complain light heartedly. "God, it's like we're already married."
"Whatever," he says with a laugh. "Did you grab the umbrella?" Ricky asks me as he locks the door behind us.
"You were supposed to grab it."
Ricky stares at me as he unlocks the door and goes back inside the apartment. I can't help but smile. I really love what him and I have. The little routines we've created. Ricky comes out with the red umbrella in his hand. His free arm finds his way around me again and the door is now locked.
The rain is heavy now. A full down pour and I adore it. Ricky and I made it to his car and we were off to the diner. My hand was laced with his as he drove. I leaned my head against the head rest and turned my head to him. I smiled.
Ricky did a double take at me. His eyes meet mine, he's still driving. "That's a pretty heavy smile you've got there?"
"I just -" I shake my head, peak out the window, and return my gaze to him. "I just really love you." I express with the same smile.
Ricky squeezed my hand and muttered something that I couldn't hear. I turn away from him again and watch the raindrops race down the window.
"I can't," he suddenly says and pauses. "I can't describe you," Ricky says out of the blue. He's now pulled in the diner parking lot. The car is stopped and his full attention is on me. "The kind of person you are. I can't describe it. The way I love you. I can't put it into words. It's impossible to find words, they aren't good enough to describe you, they aren't good enough to describe how in love with you I am."
I looked into him. Admiration and pure love filling me entirely. "You're going to make me cry."
He laughs, still holding my hand in his. "Don't cry. There's no reason to do that."
"I really hope you know that you can't ever leave me." I say with a smile but I've never been more serious about a couple of words in my life.
"I never intended to. I never will."
I smiled at Ricky, really smiled. I really smiled because for the first time I was really happy. It was the most incredible feeling I have ever experienced. I am happy and in love, brutally in love.
Ricky and I stepped out into the empty parking lost, Ricky held the umbrella above us. "What the fuck?" I whisper to myself as I spot the for sale sign in front of Donna's door.
"She's selling already?" Ricky questions once we are in front of the sign. I try to open the door but it's locked.
"She can't be," I say. "She would've told us." I'm sure she would've. Donna would've at least called us, we would've been her first phone call.
The sound of tires on pavement comes from behind us. A white Cadillac came our way and stops in front of the stairs leading to the diner. A man in a suit comes out and approaches us.
"Can I help you?" The man says to Ricky more than to me. Ricky and I look at each other.
"For sale?" Ricky questions the man while pointing to the sign.
"What about it?" The man asks in an impatient tone. I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes.
Ricky huffs. "Where's Donna? We'd like to speak with her about this?"
The man looks between us. "Who's Donna?'
"The owner." I blurt out, annoyed.
"Oh," he says but it comes out like a question. "I think she died." He pauses, so does my heart. "Yeah, she died."
My vines are ice and I can't swallow. "What?" I say so slowly, quietly.
He looks at me like I'm nuts and then rolls his eyes. "Listen, I have an open house for this place in about 10 minutes so I'm going to need you to split. Alright?" I want to punch him in the face, but I know a prick like him would press charges so I opt out.
"Are you sure that she's passed?" Ricky asks from behind me and I hold my breath.
"For goodness sake," the man who's name I still don't know complains. He pulls out his phone and starts typing and scrolling. "Here," he says and flips his phone screen to us.
It's Donna's obituary. She died the day we left for Santa Monica. I physically feel my heart shatter inside of me. A tear falls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it. "We have to go," I mutter quietly and start down the stairs. I hear Ricky behind me as the car door clicks open.
I open the door, slide into the passenger seat and I completely break. I cover my face with my hands and sob into my palms. Maybe if we had stayed for just a few more hours we would've been able to help her. Maybe she'd still be alive. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Ricky's hand is on my back, then is arms are around me and he's pulling me closer to him. "Oh God," I cry, my face not leaving the comfort of my own hands.
This can't be real. This can't be real. It's not fair. It's not fair.
"It's can't be," I lift me head to Ricky and he frowns at my crying eyes. "She can't be gone."
"Shh," he pulls me back to his chest, is hand on the back of my head. "I'm so sorry, Ali."
His T-shirt is wet with my tears and I don't care. I feel like this will go on forever. This feeling, The tears and the unbearably ache in my heart that makes me want to scream until my lungs collapse. Someone that matters to me is gone. Someone I love is gone and it's not fair. None of this is fucking fair.
I stay in his arms, my eyes closed but I'm still crying. I cling to Ricky, afraid that if I become too happy or take my eyes off of him, or if I let my guard down, he'll disappear too. "Fuck," I whisper. "I'm sorry." His motions don't stop, his fingers run up and down my bare arm. "You lost her too."
"You two were closer." He says and it's true. "I know how much you cared for her, and I'm sorry you lost her." He whispers and my eyes close again and I think back to her. I think to how much I'll miss her. I think about the memories I'll remember, as well as the ones we'll never get to make.
"We were supposed to get married today-"
"Alice," he says. "Donna died."
"I know," I say and feel another tear fall. "I wanted her there with us. She would've loved to be there with us. Now she can't." Ricky holds me a little tighter when I say this and kisses my temple. "Don't die," I look up to him once I say it. "Don't die. You cannot leave me. I won't survive it."
A/N
Sorry this took forever, i've been really busy with school :((
