pay you with love ♡ malum (discontinued)

25 ➵ the same night

"I need to see him," I said and got up from the chair I was sitting on, my voice shaking and heart pounding.

"I'm sorry but I can't let you go in his room. I've told you before, only family members are allowed in there and also he is sleeping, you would just disturb his rest," he explained with an apologizing look on his face.

"I need to fucking see him, right now! I don't fucking care if I'm not fucking family, I don't give a fuck about those stupid hospital rules. Where's his room?"

"Mr. Clifford, I can't-"

"Tell me where his fucking room is!" I now shouted, tears were streaming down my cheeks. 

"Please, calm down, sir."

"Don't tell me to calm down, do not tell me to fucking calm down! My boyfriend was raped, he -- he was r-raped and I -- I can't, I just --," I stopped myself from talking, I didn't know what to say anymore.

The doctor also got up and hugged me, probably hoping I would calm down. But, I couldn't. I started crying harder and I grabbed his white shirt, crying into his chest.

"I -- I need to, I need to see C-Calum," I stuttered out in between sobs. "I n-need to be with him, I l-love him, please let me see him. Just g-give me a m-minute with him."

The doctor sighed as I was still crying and sobbing into his chest. "I could lose my job for this but okay. I will give you one minute. Only one and you need to promise me that you won't wake up Mr. Hood. He really needs his rest," he explained.

I let out another sob before hugging him so tightly, I was scared that he couldn't breathe anymore. "Thank you, thank you so, so much."

After wiping away my tears, he showed me where Calum's room was. We took the elevator since we both weren't really in the mood to walk the stairs. 

I was still shaken up and the thought of what happened to Calum made my cry again immediately. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before the elevator stopped and we stepped into the hallway, the doctor guiding me to his room.

"I'll be waiting here. Remember, one minute," he said and looked at me sternly. I nodded in response and turned the doorknob, opening the door slow and quietly. When I walked over to his bed, the only thing you could hear was my heavy breathing and how my combat boots slapped against the ground while walking.

Calum looked so broken and hurt and the tears were brimming in my eyes again. Seeing him like this, all bruised up, made my heart break into thousands of pieces. 

He didn't deserve that. Nobody did. Nobody ever deserved to be hurt so badly, physically and mentally. What happened would mark Calum forever, people couldn't just forget things like that. 

I looked at his face and noticed a small bruise next to his nose, a small cut on his left cheek. I didn't want to think about what this monster had done to Calum, it made me so angry and sad at the same time. Why would someone do that? Why would someone want to ruin another person's life?

I brought my hand up to his face, gently and slowly brushing a strand of hair from his forehead carefully, trying to not wake him up. Then I placed a soft kiss to his bruised cheek.

"I love you," I whispered, so quiet that I almost couldn't hear it myself. 

"The minute is over," the doctor whisper shouted and I nodded, then walked towards the door after taking a last glance at Calum.

"Thank you. I know this was risky for your job but thank you for letting me see him," I said and gave him a weak smile. 

"It's fine, I know how you feel. You know, when I was young I was in almost the same situation. It's not that my boyfriend was raped but he got into a car crash and no one allowed me to go in his room. All the doctors were very strict so I sneaked in at night," he told me and smiled a little. "I got into a lot of trouble but it was worth it."

"Was he okay?"

"Well, he had a broken leg but other than that he was okay."

"Can I come back tomorrow?" I asked.

"Of course, yeah. But, I can't let you go in there again, not until we found one of Calum's family members. I've heard what you told Jane, that he has no one left. If that's really the case we will see what we can do. But for now I'd say; go home, Michael. It's so late, you must be exhausted."

I nodded, gave him another hug and thanked him again before walking out of the hospital and calling a cab. While waiting I smoked another cigarette.

I was so mad at myself, I had broken the promise I made for myself but I really couldn't help it. The situation was stressing me out and I really didn't know what to do with myself and I wanted to punch myself when I lit up the second cigarette.

The cab took too long to arrive.

✧✧

"Thank you, have a good night," I said as I handed the driver the money. He thanked me smiling and then drove away.

I walked towards the house, Calum's house. He hid a spare key in the plant next to the door, he told me about it a few weeks ago.

"But, only use it to come in when there's an emergency," he had told me and to me this was an emergency. 

I opened the door and walked in, then took off my jacket and shoes before walking towards the kitchen, getting a glass of water.

It was almost four in the morning now and I was so tired and exhausted, I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. I let the glass on the counter and went to Calum's bed room. After taking off my clothes I laid down in his bed, pulling the sheets over me.

Even though they smelled like him, there was something missing.

Calum was missing.

It wasn't the same, lying here without him. It didn't feel right, I wanted him here with me but he was in the hospital, he was in pain, he was raped.

It hit me again and tears left my eyes and maybe I didn't get much sleep that night because I couldn't stop crying. 

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:(

I'm sorry to tell you but the next chapters won't be that happy either. It's a really hard time for both Michael and Calum right now and it will stay that way for quite a while now, for Calum maybe a little longer that for Michael.

This chapter was shorter than the other ones, I apologize :)

What do you think?

୨୧ See you next chapter! ୨୧