pay you with love ♡ malum (discontinued)

05 ➵ disappearing

"What's your dream job?" I asked and Calum looked at me confused.

"My dream job?"

I nodded.

"I've always wanted to be a teacher but I can't even spell properly, so that will never happen," he said and fumbled with his fingers.

I just nodded and went back to staring at the TV but my eyes wandered to Calum again.

What I've learned in the past few hours, was, that he absolutely despised it when people stared at him. He didn't want to tell me why but the reasons were pretty obvious to me and they made me sad.

He really shouldn't be so hard to himself.

"Where's the bathroom?" I asked and he told me, then I got up.

After doing my business I walked a little around the house. It wasn't that big so there wasn't a lot to see.

There was the kitchen, the bathroom, living room and two extra rooms.

I knew it wasn't very polite to walk around and going into rooms I probably wasn't allowed in but I've always been a very curious person, so I couldn't really stop myself.

I looked around and tried to open one of the two unknown rooms but it was locked.

The second room was open, though and I figured it was Calum's bedroom.

It was kind of small but very cozy. Even though there was only a king sized bed and his closet, it looked great. The walls were painted a soft lilac and his furniture was white.

I smiled a little at the white bed sheets with small, pink hearts and roses printed on them.

"That's not the bathroom," I suddenly heard Calum say behind me and turned around.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"I probably would've changed the sheets if I knew that some random guy would sneak around in my house and observe my bedroom," he said.

"Why?"

"They're kind of girly, some people think it's weird."

"If you like girly stuff then that's fine. It's something different and different is great. Also, the bed sheets look really fluffy and comfy, I feel the need to lay down now and cuddle," I explained and he smiled.

"I'm glad there's still people in this world who think that way. I mean about how different is great. I never had a boyfriend because of this. They thought I was way too gay and feminine, also they couldn't love me because who wants to be with a slut anyways? At least that's what they always said," Calum chuckled sadly.

"I usually don't do this before the first date but, do you want to cuddle with me? Because I really want to cuddle you."

"You're so weird."

"And weird is great so I take that as a yes."

I took off my shoes and flopped down on his bed.

"I feel like I'm in heaven."

Calum was still standing in the door frame, a small smile on his face but I could make out a worried expression.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

He smiled weakly at me, "Yes, I'm fine."

Calum started walking over to the bed and I smiled but frowned at the same time.

I probably looked like a crazy person but I didn't really care about that.

Calum was limping and even though it was a small limp, I couldn't stop myself to get angry and feel like punching the customer, or whatever you like to call it, who did this to him straight in the face.

Too caught up in my thoughts, I didn't realize that Calum was already lying next to me on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Do you -- Are you in a lot of pain?" I asked awkwardly, not really sure how to speak about something like this or even start a conversation about this topic.

Calum positioned himself that he was facing me and I did the same thing.

"No, it was worse before at some point. I can handle this. He paid me more, too, so I just forget about it and be happy about the money," he explained.

"I'm still pretty sure that they can't do this. Paying someone for sex is one thing but hurting the other person is another. That's no acceptable."

Calum chuckled, "You sound like a mother."

"I'm pretty sure no mother ever has used this sentence to their child."

"How am I supposed to know? My mother could never talk to me like, well, a mother."

I just stared at him and looked at him while his eyes were closing.

"Are you tired?" I whisper.

"Yeah, tired of life."

And that hit me like a fucking bus.

"Calum, I -"

"I don't want to die, you know? I just want to disappear, fall asleep and never wake up again. I never thought of dying, killing myself or something like this. I just want to disappear sometimes," he cut me off and opened his eyes again.

I tried coming closer to him and then I wrapped my arms around Calum.

"You smell very nice."

"Really?"

"Mh, what is this?" I asked and nuzzled my head into his neck.

"I have no idea but it looked very pretty. There perfume has a pink bottle and there's flowers on it."

And I smiled because even though I've only met him around four times, the first thing that popped up in my mind was typical Calum.

A few minutes passed and I still had my arms wrapped around him, while Calum just laid there, not touching me at all. His arms and hands were pressed up between his and my body but I didn't complain.

Things were perfect like that.

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I feel like I'm rushing this but it's not like they have feelings for each other.

Calum is just broken and Michael very caring.

Anyway, now that I finished 'Connection' I will focus a lot on this story since it's my favorite.

What did you think about the chapter?

Information: In the beginning I said this story could be a possible MPREG and now I decided it will happen. If you're uncomfortable with that, I'm sorry.

See you next chapter! :)