pay you with love ♡ malum (discontinued)

09 ➵ dirty little whore

The way to the cinema was very quiet since Calum didn't talk much and I didn't either. It wasn't uncomfortable, though. 

From time to time I glanced over to Calum. He was always looking at the ground as we walked, fumbling with his fingers. It was a surprise that he didn't run into something but to be honest, I wouldn't let that happen anyways.

"Are you planning on going back to working again?" I asked, trying to start a conversation.

He just nodded, not looking up from the ground. 

"Tomorrow?"

Again a small nod.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm fine. Just thinking," Calum finally said. "Do you think Ashton hates me?"

"What? Why are you thinking about Ashton?" I asked, a little confused. 

"I've been thinking about him since we first met. About what he said, I mean. I just don't want your friends to hate me."

"He doesn't hate you. Ashton is just very judgmental when he meets new people, you know? It's really bad. He isn't a bad person, though, he just needs some time to actually get to know the person and the reasons why they are how they are. He's never met someone like you before. He never met or talked to a boy who likes to paint his nails and wears mascara," I explained. 

"Oh, yeah. I understand. But, maybe he should try to give people a chance before insulting them. Being called a freak really hurt, I admit that. But it was nice that he apologized."

There was a short silence again before I spoke up.

"I don't know if it's rude to ask that but why exactly did you start dressing like you do? I mean, you look adorable in pink and the white nails look really great on you but I was just wondering," I said awkwardly and scratched my neck.

I was scared that he wouldn't like talking about it but Calum just smiled and started talking.

"Believe it or not but when I was younger, in kindergarten, I didn't really like boys. I never hung out with them. I guess it was because I didn't like playing with Lego and cars but preferred barbies. I don't know why, I was always a weird kid," he chuckled and then continued talking.

"I had a friend and her name was Rose. She was kind of the only friend I had back then but I didn't care. I didn't really need a lot of friends. One was enough for me.

Anyways, she always wore pink dresses and even though we were really young her parents let her paint her nails. She had a big sister named Victoria and she was probably my favorite person. She was sixteen and always joined us while we played. One day Rose wanted Victoria to paint her nails and she did. I was curious and sat next to them, just watching. After finishing Rose's nails, Victoria looked over to me and asked if I wanted my nails painted, too.

I picked the pink color, I guess I always liked pink, and let her paint my nails and when she was done, I felt beautiful. I never really felt like this before and I was so happy. When I had to go home, she gave me the nail polish with a smile, saying that I could keep it. When I visited the girls another time, Victoria was getting ready for something. She was putting on make up and mascara and I liked how the lashes looked so perfect and long. I asked her if she could apply it on my lashes, too, and she nodded with a smile."

I smiled through the whole story. I was happy that he could talk about parts of his childhood that weren't sad. I knew what he had gone through, even though it was maybe just a little part of his life.