pay you with love ♡ malum (discontinued)

15 ➵ one week later

C A L U M ' S  P O V

"Even better than last time, kiddo," the man said, looking down at me while getting dressed.

I was sitting on the bed, still naked but covering my body with the dirty bed sheets. I bit my lip before sending him a weak smile and whispering a small 'thank you'.

"I'm goin' to give you ten more today, I'm feelin' great."

He handed me a bundle of money and left after I counted it, seeing he gave me enough.

I fiddled the money between my fingers, sighing before putting it in my special place for the money I earned, which was basically just a pink, little purse that I always hid somewhere in my closet when I wasn't working.

Then I laid down again, not caring about the not so clean bed sheets. I already felt dirty enough, it really didn't bother me. 

I stared at the ceiling and felt a tear escaping my eye, running down my cheek and I started crying more when I thought about how normal this already was to me.

Getting fucked, payed and then I cried until the next customer arrived. 

I buried my head in the pillows and just let it all out.

It felt good to cry, really. After crying I always felt a little better but still, the reason why I cried was awful and disgusting. 

After showering, getting dressed and changing the bed sheets I sat down on the little chair that was standing on the balcony. It was a cozy day, not too cold and not too warm.

I fished my phone out of my pocket and texted Michael.

[to: prince 💞🏩💟]

can you pick me up? 💞

[from: prince 💞🏩💟]

of course, i will be there in 15 

Michael wasn't the type to put emojis in his messages but that was okay because then it was kind of my thing in our relationship, whatever relationship we had.

I put him as prince because he always calls me his princess and it makes me weak in the knees. And when I was around him, I actually felt like a princess. He made me feel so beautiful and happy with myself, I didn't know how he did it.

Sure, I never really loved myself 100% but who does anyways? I just didn't feel comfortable in my skin, it was mostly because of my job.

But, who would feel good if they were in my position? No one, I could guarantee that.

I always felt so dirty after having sex with those men and even after showering. I couldn't just scrub the feeling away with soap. 

I tried. Once I tried so hard that I started scratching the dirty feeling from my skin with my long nails and I started to bleed but all that didn't help. I was even more hurt than I was before, physically and mentally.

I just wished I could change that somehow.

The clouds were now covering the sun and a small breeze hit my face, making me shiver. I got inside again and put on my jacket, walking out of the room and locked it.

A smile appeared on my face when I thought about seeing Michael again. 

The last time I saw him may have been this morning but that didn't matter.