The Giant and His Heart. [Light at the end of the tunnel]

Chapter 39 - "He Spanks Me!"

I don't know why I was making myself crazy but all the way home, I kept on calling the giant even though I knew his phone was on voicemail. I just couldn't believe it. The whole thing happened fast. He didn't give me time to prepare myself. I was really worried about him. Yes I knew that the giant was good at whatever he was doing for the SASS [South African Secret Service] but I couldn't help but be scared. I mean anything could happen. I even called X-man and the twins, and their phones were on voicemail too. I didn't bother calling the others because I knew the same applied for them. They were a team and the giant always went on missions with them. I really prayed that they returned safely. I wouldn't accept anything else. I just entered the apartment when my phone rang. The way I jumped to answer thinking it was the giant but it was only Phozisa.
Me: "Hey." I said disappointedly. She sighed.
Phozisa: "I guess you also can't reach them." She said sadly.
Me: "X-man called you? Do you know what this mission is that they going to do?"
Phozisa: "Yes he called and no I don't know sorry." I deflated dropping on the couch... "but don't worry they'll be fine. They've been doing this for years and they're very good at what they do." I guess she would know since she's been X-man's girlfriend more than I have been the giant's girlfriend. I groaned in frustration... "you just have to get used to it Busi. This is not the first and the last mission they're going to do...there's still going to be more missions for them to do. It's their job."
Me: "I know." I whined... "but I can't help but be worried and scared. How am I going to cope when he goes for missions like this next time Phozisa?" I asked panicked.
Phozisa: "You just have to have faith in your man. Have faith that he'll come back to you safely." I groaned miserably... "I don't want to scare you but sometimes they'll have to go away on missions for months and you would have no communication with them what-so-ever." What? Months without any communication?! No, I was going to die people.
Me: "What?!" I exclaimed in disbelief and shock... "please tell me you're joking Phozisa." She laughed a little.
Phozisa: "I wish I was." She was so calm. How did she do it? This was already just too much for me. I didn't think that these missions were intense like this. I had been too stupid and ignorant about this whole thing. I mean I was going to be this man's wife in 5 months. When he came back – because he just had to – he needed to explain again to me what these missions were all about. I couldn't deal. The worrying was going to kill me.
Me: "How come you so calm? How did you get used to all of this?"
Phozisa: "There's nothing you can do. Panicking doesn't help. Just learn to accept things as they are." Oh my gosh! I did this to myself. I'm the one who decided to love and get engaged to a man like the giant. I mean on top of all the other things I had to accept about the giant, I had to add his job into that list also. It was too much. I'm sure other women didn't have it as hard as me..."I was also like you at first so you'll be fine nawe as time goes by." She consoled me. I huffed.
Me: "I guess. You know the way I was looking forward to sleeping, the giant had to ruin even that for me with his mission news. Then he disappears after that! Now I don't think I'll be able to sleep." I vented angrily.
Phozisa: "It's funny how you call him 'giant'." She said amused... "doesn't he get mad when you call him that?"
Me: "Argh he doesn't, because he knows he looks like a giant and I only started calling him giant when he didn't want to stop calling me 'woman'." She laughed.
Phozisa: "You guys are entertaining. I'm super terrified of your man but I like that you're not." I chuckled.
Me: "I'm also terrified of him but not like before. I'm just used to him now. But there are still those moments when I feel like peeing myself." She laughed.
Phozisa: "Have you started planning for your wedding?"
Me: "No." I said groaning in stress.
Phozisa: "What? Why? It's in 5 months girl!"
Me: "I know." I whined. I started to tell her about how the giant's mother seems to want the wedding to be a big ass one and how I felt like she was going to sabotage the whole planning of it. She was laughing crazily at my antics. She said I was crazy and dramatic. Did you also think like that people? Even if I was, I wasn't that bad right? When I told her about the ring, she almost screamed my eardrums out. She wanted pictures so I had to take pictures of it and send it to her. She was super psyched for me and I was glad. The wedding talk distracted me a little from thinking about the giant being on a dangerous mission. We talked for a long ass time that I started to get sleepy again. We hung up and I prepared for bed. I was really trying not to think about the giant but I was really worried about him and most importantly, I missed him. Oh my giant! He still didn't say 'I love you' to me instead he said it in his own way 'you have my heart' which I personally thought held more weight than the three words commonly used. And 'you have my heart' were the last words he said to me before he went out of service. I wished I had told him that I loved him but I'm sure he knows I do since I tell him every little chance I got. I took some sleeping pills since I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep – I would stay up all night going out of my mind with worry. After a few twist and turns, I finally was able to sleep.