The Giant and His Heart. [Light at the end of the tunnel]

Chapter 20 - "He's Not A Monster"

He was driving me to school people! He's so frustrating. When I tried telling him that he shouldn't be driving because of his hands he shut me down. Bastard! I can't believe I actually missed his ass. I was being stupid at the time. Never again! He's so rude. When I suggested that Xolile be the one to drive me to school, he went crazy. Actually, saying that he went crazy was an understatement. You guys should already know how he is so I'm sure you get the picture. He even wanted to wrestle Xolile for the car keys! I mean who does that? I really think he was worse now than before. He was being a territorial ass busy saying things like "you're my woman so I'm taking you"... "you sleep in my bed not in his, so fuck that"... "if he thinks you're going anywhere with him I'll shoot him down". You see what I'm been dealing with this morning? It was too early for all this drama that the giant was causing. Meanwhile Xolile was finding this whole thing very hilarious. He was busy laughing the whole time. I guess he was used to him since he knew him way longer than me.

It was hilarious how my friends literally ran away when they saw the giant drop me off at school. My stomach was sore from laughing so much. The giant had really done a number on them. The last time I had spoken to my friends was yesterday when the giant had insulted them at the restaurant we were at. It had been a disaster that felt like it had happened ages ago. This shows how things can change drastically in such a short time. I hadn't been able to call them last night to check up on them for obvious reasons. The giant had a way of consuming my life. I don't know yet how I should feel about that. I knew it wasn't healthy to revolve your life around a man. My mother had always preached the same gospel to me since the beginning - when I still knew nothing about anything. She made sure to nail it in my head that men are not to be trusted because she said they could change their minds about you in a spur of a moment. They could decide that they no longer wanted you at a drop of a hat. I think she always talked from experience. I always thought that she referred to my absent father. I never asked about what happened between them. I honestly never saw the need to ask. I mean, the fact that he's not present in my life at the moment meant that he didn't want to be so I saw no need to bother myself about his whereabouts. And it's not like my mother would tell me. Anyway I was going a little off track. I apologize people. As I already said at the beginning of this story that we were not going to be talking about my father and his absenteeism in my life. This was not the story for that and anyway stories that involve daddy issues were overrated. Call me naive or whatever. That's just where I'm at.

Anyway...back to the giant. There was something at my very core that told me that the giant was different from other men. Call me stupid or naive but that's how I felt. I guess we'll see as the time went. I finally caught up with my friends. We had the first class together.
Me: "Did I just see you guys running away from me?"
Andy: "Girl we didn't want that man of yours to see us. We didn't want to be insulted again." She said that with attitude and all.
Fiona: "We heard enough insults from him to last us a decade." I rolled my eyes.
Me: "He only insulted you once."
Andy: "Busi he called us ugly twice! He even threatened Fifi." Fiona nodded in agreement... "and can I just say that the guy is pretty scary, terrifying even. I can't stop picturing his eyes when I close my eyes at night. So creepy. I really got bad vibes yesterday from him my friend. I don't understand what you see in him. He's a monster! Not good for you at all." Okay I know that the giant was rude to them yesterday and there's no excuse for what he did. But calling him a monster was just taking it a bit too far. I didn't like it.
Fiona: "Exactly. He's not good for you. I also see him as a monster and compared to him, you're this cute little kitten. Not compatible at all."
Me: "Can you guys not call him a monster? Yes he's rude and a bit scary but he's not a monster. He just different." I said annoyed with them.
Andy: "Sorry to break this to you my friend but he's a monster." I blew out a frustrated breath... "I mean, where the hell did you find him? There are so many cute guys out there, and you just had to go and pick him. I know you're desperate to find yourself a man since these other guys have labeled you as being 'cold as ice', but this is not the way to go. You have to cut ties with him. We don't approve of that monster at all." I was really starting to get pissed off. She actually called me desperate! Since when? I have never in my life being desperate for a man. And for her to mention the label that was given to me ('cold as ice') by these jerks who got their pride hurt because I didn't want to sleep with any of them was just plain mean. She knew how I felt about being called that. It hurt. I also didn't like the things they were saying about the giant like they knew him. Yes, he was very rough around the edges but there was a lot of goodness in him too. The giant was a human being not a monster. Just because life had dealt him a shitty hand didn't give them the right to call him a monster. I blamed the giant's sick father for the way the giant was because he's the one who caused the giant to be how he is today. Yes, he frustrates and annoys the hell out of me but I would never condemn him for who he is. He practically didn't have control whatsoever on how he turned out to be. The grief, anger and hatred fabricated the giant we know today. He just needed to see a psychologist, who would help him learn how to deal with the emotions that are haunting him. But even then, he will not completely change. He will still be the same giant but he will not be driven with grief, anger and hatred.