In The Middle

Break Even

I was about to went inside the apartment building when I saw Kai walked out.

He didn't saw me. It was 7 o'clock in the morning. So he stayed in Jennie's apartment for the night.

I didn't noticed that I gripped the door handle so hard that my bruised knuckles turns white. 

I just let it go when someone walks inside the lobby.

I walked towards the elevator and press the floor of Jennie's apartment.

I just stare blankly on my face inside the elevators mirror Infront of me.

People goes in and comes out from the elevator. Until It was my time to go off the lift.

I just looked at the door. I don't know how to face Jennie when all I think is what Jennie and Kai did when they got home.

I unlocked the door and was face with Jennie. She is sitting on the couch and was surprised that I entered the apartment.

She was only wearing an oversized shirt.,  that flows down just above her knees.

I just looked at her and goes to the kitchen as I fetched a bottle of water. 

I didn't even acknowledged her presence. Which made her furious.

I just wanted to escape the reality. I may breakdown in front of her.

As I passed her on the living room she spoke.

“Where did you go!? ”she asked me but I just looked at her emotionlessly..

“I'm with Somi!” I continue my track to go to my room.

“Did you fuck her!?” I can't believe what I just heard from her. Which made my blood boiled in anger.

I turned back to looked at her.

“What if I did huh!?” I saw her approached and me.

My vision went blank for a second. I felt a sting on my face. Jennie just slapped me so hard.

The moment she was about to slap me again I held her hand before it could reach my face again.

“You don't have any right to that! What if I did fuck her huh!” I spit those words furiously infront of her.

“Fuck you!”

“ Well, I definitely fucked her” I lied to get back on her. She walked away from me but I followed her.

“You have no right to play the jealous card on me Jen,. When you where here all night with that guy!! ” I shouted at her which made her looked at me.

“ He is my fiancee!!! ” she answered but I chuckled.

“and I'm just your fucking bodyguard” I just clap on disbelief.

“ Well it was not his name you're moaning when I pinned you on the wall last night” I smirked.

She launched at me and start hitting me. I let her. She hit my face, I can't even count for how many times. I just felt numb all over my body.

She was sobbing but hit my chest a couple of time with her fist. I let her be. I just wanted to endure all the pain.

The moment she stop I looked at her. It breaks my heart to saw her like that. I know how hard it is for her, for both of us.

I hugged her as I closed my eyes. She was still crying.

“Please Stop! I'm begging you Jen, please stop crying, I'm so sorry! I really am!”

She looked at me and tears were still flowing.

“I'm falling In love with you!” she said which made my heart jump. But there was sadness in her eyes.

“ I was not supposed to feel this way!”

“I wanted to say that I'm so happy right now to be hearing that from your lips but your eyes says otherwise” I cupped her face with both of my hands.

“We can't be together Lis” Just by hearing those word leaves her mouth breaks my heart all over again.

“What happened last night, was a mistake” She regretted it . But for me it was a beautiful mistake.

She just slapped me hard with reality and it hurt even more.

“I know Jen and I understand!” I caressed her face.

I leaned into her and closed the gap between us. I showed her all my emotions in that kiss. I closed my eyes as my lips are moving along with her. I wanted to cherish this moment as long as I can.

I stop kissing her but I leaned my head into hers while I close my eyes. I breathe her. I kissed her forehead, and I let go. 

“How I wished you could be mine, but fate will never allow us. ”

She stopped me by hugging me. She hugged me by the waist.

“So please let me go!”

I pulled her hand until she lets go of me.

I walked back out of the door I came from. I can't be in here after what just happened.

The moment I closed the door I heard Jennie's loud sob from the outside.

I leaned my head on the door. I stopped myself from going back inside and be with her.

She's right we can never be together.  She was about to marry some other guy. One lucky hell of a fella he is. I envy him even more.

In short time I have fallen hard for this woman.  So hard that I let all my guards down and now it all crumbles down.

A/N: SOME OF US THINK THAT HOLDING ON MAKE US STRONG,BUT SOMETIMES IT'S LETTING GO”