When You're Broken On The Ground

Chapter 68

Trigger Warnings: spy stuff, death, blah blah blah the usual 

Word Count: 1018

Janus leans in and whispers into his ear, "Do you want to ask Thomas now? I'll try to calm down this argument in the meantime." Hmm, deal with a scary Emile or ask Thomas to be part of their wedding?

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CUT OUR LONDON VACATION SHORT BECAUSE YOU LOST A BOOK!" Emile yells, Remy cowering slightly, his coffee abandoned on the small table.

"Oh I'm definitely talking with Tommy Boy, I ain't going anywhere near a mad Emile," Remus whispers back before kissing his fiancé and getting up. "C'mon Thomas, I need ya for a sec," he says, Thomas popping up with relief.

He drags Thomas away from the group, Emile still yelling at Remy, who by now looks scared for his life's, figuring it'd be best for him to move away from the argument so he can ask Thomas without yelling over the scary therapist. Logan and Virgil look betrayed as they walk away, probably because they don't have a good excuse to leave the very awkward feeling in the air. "So, Thommy, Thomathy, Thomas the Dank Train-"

"Yeah Remus?" Thomas says, cutting his long list of Thomas nicknames short. Probably for the best, he could go on and on for a long time. Knowing someone for most of your life can really build up a lot of names, after all. He didn't even get to tap into the gay puns yet, and those were the best ones!

"You wanna be our flower guy?" he blurts out. "Me and JJ need one and we thought you'd be perfect for it." Thomas looks shocked, but then he grins.

"Of course I'd love to!!" Thomas squeals, hugging Remus tightly. "I'm so happy for you too, of course I'll help in any way I can!!" Remus hugs him back, blinking away tears. Thomas was the first person who let him know that liking guys was a thing, and not something bad. Thomas, the second person he came out, first being Janus and Virgil, so technically third? Roman was fourth, because he was terrified of coming out to his twin but knew he had to before telling the rest.

"Thank you," he whispers into Thomas' shoulder. He can feel Thomas smiling, hand patting him on the back before letting go.

"Of course Remus," he replies, grinning with that unconditional love and support he's always held. "Anytime. Now," Thomas says, switching gears, "wanna go back to the others? I think the argument's cooled down now, if the lack of Emile's scary yelling voice is any sign."

Remus laughs, hearing the calmer voice levels coming from the living room. "Yeah, probably. I'll be real though, I didn't know about those last two libraries, did you?" he asks, slinging an arm over Thomas' shoulders as they walk back.

"Nope," Thomas replies cheerfully, "but I'm not surprised, he's pretty forgetful. Probably the lack of sleep and too much caffeine."

"Oh definitely," Remus agrees, watching the others laugh and talk for a moment. Virgil's snuggled into Roman's side, debating with Logan, head in Patton's lap and feet over Roman and Virgil's laps, over the proof of ghosts while Roman fights Janus and Remy, one arm around Emile, on the ranking of Broadway musicals. Emile and Patton, one hand running through Logan's hair while the other gestures widely around, are giggling together over the newest cartoon they're both watching, something about owls. He sighs contently. The years have gone by, and yet the picture stays almost entirely the same, everyone happy and healthy for once. It's peaceful, and he unslings his arm around Thomas in favor of cuddling up to his cobra, who wraps an arm around him without breaking his argument as to why Heathers is the ideal musical.

He lets the words wash over him, not really paying attention but enjoying the background sounds as he soaks in the feeling of his fiancé next to him, alive and well. Sure, he knew what he was getting into when he and Janus had the talk after college, about how Janus is a spy and that means that every time he goes on a mission, he may be done for a day or for weeks, he may come back perfectly okay or stitched up or in a coffin. But knowing and actually living it are two very different things.

They love each other, he's never doubted that. And Janus' capability in the field is unquestionable, he's survived many situations that most wouldn't have been able to. But there's always that worry, that one day Janus won't be able to escape death, that his work life will bleed into his personal life, that everything they as a family have worked to build will come crumbling down in a haze of fire and bullets. Getting those texts, watching Janus say 'I love you' to him as what could be his last time doing so, it shook him to his very core.

And the all-safe text felt like a miracle.

So, he cuddles his snek and he relishes this moment, this safe moment with his family. Because it could have ended badly, it could have ended with him a widow and only sibling, Patton without a twin, Virgil without a husband, and their family without two members that can't be replaced. But it didn't, they're safe. And maybe next time he might not be so lucky, but this moment is enough.

"How are you doing darling?" Janus asks after Remy picks up his debate, Roman sputtering in confusion at their rankings. He's looking at Remus, eyes bright and loving as he presses a quick kiss to Remus' forehead.

"Hmm, better now that you're here," Remus replies, leaning up to kiss his fiancé. "Still not great, but better."

"I'm sorry my love, I know it's not ideal. Honor has no sense of situation." He hugs Remus closer, who in return wraps his arms around his waist. "I love you."

"I love you too, snakey," Remus murmurs, lazily kissing Janus' exposed wrist before closing his eyes.