When You're Broken On The Ground

Chapter 39

Trigger Warnings: mention of past attempted suicide, mention of childhood abuse, mention of past murder, the fact that gay marriage wasn't legal until a few years ago

Word Count: 1107

Remy holds his hand out to Emile. "May I have this dance?" he asks, smiling at his husband. Emile looks radiant in his Garnet outfit, the pink tie a nice addition.

He takes Remy's hand with a smile. "Of course." Remy sweeps them on to the dance floor and into a waltz. Did he have to get Roman, Virgil, and Logan to teach him how? Yes. But it's worth it, spinning Emile around so his skirt flares out, watching the lights sparkle in his diamond-like eyes, makes it all worth it. Emile always makes it worth it.

They dance for a bit, he can see some of his friends taking pictures as they glide around, no doubt gathering blackmail as long as pictures to look back on. Soon, the song ends, a new song starting afterwards. It's a more modern song, faster paced, which is nice. Everyone starts joining in the dancing too, giving them cover to talk while still dancing. And more cover to mess up or just bounce around like their dancing normally is.

"So, Dr. Picani," he says with a smile edging on a smirk, "how's it feel to be married?"

"I don't know Doctor, how does it feel to you?" Emile replies with a laugh.

"It feels incredible," he says, kissing Emile.

"Same here," Emile breathes out before kissing him again.

They dance and laugh and mingle with their guests after that, cutting the cake and watching Remus almost shove Roman's into his face, getting to watch Logan teach Patton how to waltz to the beat of Come With Me, and laugh as Thomas box steps to prove to Joan that he can. Roman has told him countless times that though they both earned doesn't mean they need to prove it. Remy just thinks Roman doesn't like the box step.

Remy sneaks Emile and himself out of the room and to the balcony after a while though, to get a break from the dancing.

"Remy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For what?" he asks, looking over at his husband. Emile's leaning up against the railing, looking out at the city.

"For stopping me that day." Oh. "If you hadn't stepped in, I could be dead right now." He turns around and looks at Remy. "And none of this," he gestures at the party behind Remy, "would exist. They're all so happy, so much happier than I ever thought I'd see them. I'm happier than I ever thought I would be. I never thought- I never really believed I would make it this far, that we could make it this far. I'm actually a therapist, you're a real doctor! Our family is the one we chose, chaotic and insane as it is. We're alive, we're happy. And us! I mean, I've had a crush on you since forever, but I never thought I'd actually tell you, nor that we would stay together for so long and get married!" Tears are running down his face as Remy holds him, Remy trying hard not to cry himself. "I still can't believe gay marriage was passed, that we're actually legally married. It's so..." he pauses, "surreal, I guess."

"I know," Remy replies, swallowing hard. "I- I had this crush on you and I was going to ask you out a week or two before prom-"

"Remy prom was months before this."

"I know. I was planning ahead of time. But, when I saw you with that knife," he takes a shaky breath, "I was so scared I was going to lose you before I even asked you out."

"Remy..."

"It was terrifying to see you on that hospital bed, having to be drugged just to get you to calm down and not attempt again. And I think, I think that's when I realized how much you mean to me." He looks up from where he's staring at Emile's tie and up to his face, tears staining both their cheeks. "I love you so much, and I want to spend my entire life loving you. But right then, I thought I wouldn't get to. I thought I was going to lose probably the only guy that I actually wanted to date that wasn't because they were interested in me and I didn't hate them. And that's why, after we started therapy and we got a lot more emotionally stable, and things started getting better, I asked you out. Because I needed you to know how much you meant to me, and to spend as much time as I could with you in my life. Because we have no idea where the next accident, where the next horrible moment is going to come from, and I needed to know that I didn't spend my time pining and never actually asked you. So," he says, voice quivering a little, "I can't even begin to describe how much us being here, alive and well, means to me. Marriage was never part of my plans, or my wildest dreams, but here I am, with you in my arms, married to you." He can feel the tears combining along his jaw but he doesn't bother to wipe them away, holding Emile is more important than wiping away the droplets.

"I know," Emile sobs out, burying his face in Remy's chest. "I know, it doesn't feel real but I love you so much Remy, I don't care what we do as long as I'm with you I'm happy. I love you so much."

"I love you too," Remy chokes out, emotions creating a thick barrier in his throat. "I love you so much, I never thought we'd make it here but we did and I'm so gratefully we did because I love you Emile, I love you I love you I love you."

"I love you too," Emile cries, probably leaving his makeup on Remy's shirt but he doesn't care, after all the shit they've been through, Remy thinks crying on a balcony on their wedding day and maybe staining his suit is one of the tamest emotional breakdowns they've had.

They've almost died, survived abusive childhoods, and literally killed someone. They deserve to cry over everything and be overwhelmed with the fact that they survived, that they're finally married. Considering the obstacles in their way, it;s practically a miracle at this point.

Remy presses a kiss to Emile's wet cheek, coaxing a half laugh half sob from Emile. "I love you."

"I love you too."