When You're Broken On The Ground

Chapter 45

Trigger Warnings: existential crisis, conspiracy theories

Word Count: 1162

A couple of their friends come up and congratulate them while Virgil finishes eating, making Roman very glad they decided to put the cake out for halfway through the dancing. Virgil tends to get.... protective over his deserts.

Music starts to play and, now that Virgil has finished with his food, Roman pulls them out onto the dance floor. They bow to each other, then join hands for a waltz. Roman lets Virgil twirl him around, enjoying the feeling of his skirt spinning around him.

"So, how does it feel to be the most beautiful person here?" he asks, twirling Virgil.

"Hmm, I don't know Princey, how you feelin'?"

He definitely doesn't have thick enough foundation on. "I'm in heaven," he squeaks out.

Virgil's laugh is like a precious gem and Roman treasures it in his heart for getting to hear it in such a perfect setting as their wedding. "Then clearly I'm not trying hard enough, because this is supposed to be pretty gay."

"Oh it's already incredibly gay, we're here."

Virgil laughs again. "But it can always be gayer."

"Fair enough," Roman laughs. They dance without talking for a minute, just breathing it all in.

"You know, out of all the scenarios I thought up of this day," Virgil speaks, breaking the silence as he spins both of them time and dips Roman over his arm, "this is my favorite."

"This isn't a simulation my chemically imbalance romance," Roman points out, kissing Virgil's nose.

His husband gives him his conspiracy theory look. "That you know of."

"You think," Roman spins out of Virgil's arms and back into them, "that this is a computer simulation?"

"Or something one of us made up while in a coma," Virgil adds thoughtfully.

"Explain," Roman prompts, passing his brother and Janus who are not so much dancing as making out while walking around the floor.

"I mean, most humans spend their lives following people and trends rather than being different, implying either lack of creativity or computer algorithm."

"So the Matrix."

"Yeah." Roman spins Virgil. "But also, there's only so much variety in humanity, unlike the more diverse families and species of other animals."

"Again with the algorithm bit."

"Exactly!" Virgil dips him again and when Roman gets pulled up he steals a kiss before letting Virgil continue. "Plus, most of our lives, hell all of human history, is just repeating patterns that we say we'll never repeat, and yet we repeat over and over and over again. Classic evidence of a simulation or algorithm."

"Uh huh," Roman says, twirling around and letting his skirt poof out as much as possible. "What else?"

"You know how empires fall and stuff?"

"Yeah?"

"That's all a simulation of governing styles that failed."

"Ohhhhhh." They pass Thomas trying to box step while Joan and Tayln do their best to stop him.

"And you know all those flat earthers? They're people from earlier simulations who have popped back into it, like a malfunction!" Roman doesn't believe a word his husband's saying, but his eyes are sparkling and his smiles is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

"Oh, and all those different spellings of names are the creators running out of ideas?"

"Yep!" Virgil continues on, pointing out evidence while Roman spins them and this is exactly where Roman wants to stay forever. Watching Virgil talk on and on about a crazy theory neither of them actually believe but is fun to make up evidence for anyway, dancing their lives away, is exactly what paradise would be for Roman. Anywhere could be paradise with Virgil.

"Love?"

"Yeah Ro?" Virgil says, slowing them down to just swaying together.

"If this is a simulation, then you're the best thing they created," Roman admits softly, nose brushing against Virgil's.

His foundation barely covers his heavy blush. "Stopppppp."

"Never," Roman laughs quietly, touching foreheads with his husband. "I married this incredible, handsome, amazing man right here and if this is a dream, you're the best thing in it."

"You- fuck this is too sappy for me right now," Virgil laughs quietly, tears brimming his eyes. Roman can feel his heart melting and he gently brushes the tears away before they can ruin his make up again.

He's about to say something, when the music changes and everyone floods the dance floor, interrupting him. Virgil's swept away from him into the crowd and Roman sighs ruefully, letting himself get swept into the crowd.

After a few dozen songs, Roman's feet are aching but he feels almost high, if you can get high on joy. He finally has to walk off to find a seat, when he bumps into Virgil laughing at Remy and Emile. Remy's trying to do some dance he probably learned when he was high on caffeine while Emile does the more normal and definitely more appropriate dancing that is mainly jumping around and swaying. Virgil is near tears when Roman wraps his arms around him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Hi emo."

"Hi royal pain," Virgil replies between gasps, trying to catch his breath.

"I was going to sit down for a bit, care to join me? I think they," he looks back at Remy and Emile and laughs, "could use some privacy."

Virgil laughs and nods, so they make their way off the dance floor and sit at their table.

"My feet are dying," Roman laments, resting his feet up on a nearby chair. "I forgot how tiring dancing can get."

"You. The Broadway actor. The guy who did a movie. Are tired because you danced to a couple songs?" Virgil stares him down.

"I feel attacked."

"Good."

"In my defense-!"

"Stop stop stop, the only one who can possibly pass as a lawyer is Janus, don't even try Romano," Virgil interrupts him.

"Hey, I think I'd make a good lawyer!" Roman protests. "Although, I would make a good judge too... you know, with a long robe and big powered wig... That'd be fun!" He's always wanted to wear one of those wigs that made people look really old when they were, like, twenty.

"You wouldn't be impartial at all," Virgil points out.

"So? Neither are the current judges??" Roman shoots back. They stare at each other for a second before bursting into laughter.

"This is why I married you," his husband whispers, leaning against him after they both calmed down.

"My charming looks? Handsome personality? Impeccable humor?"

"You're a dumbass." Roman squawks, readying himself to defend his honor. "But you're my dumbass." He melts into a puddle of goo. Virgil hums and they sit there, watching Thomas try to start a conga line with some guests joining in while Logan looks on like a confused and annoyed parent. Which, to be fair, he normally is when dealing with them. But then Patton ropes him in and Roman chuckles quietly as the nerd robotically follows Patton's movements, still looking confused.