The Hots (mxm)

18. Show me! (Alec)

   "Are you crazy?" Sam bellows, gazing at me in disbelief.

   I start to giggle between sobs. "This is exactly what Daniel said the day I decided to come to your place and ask you to give me one thousand euro."

   This was such an insane move, now that I think about it. I can't even comprehend how I gathered the courage to do it. Everything changed for me then, the very moment Sam opened the door. The following events were amazing, exciting, new, and hard to believe that I completely forgot what I've been like for the last twenty years. It was as if someone erased the guarded, careful boy and left me in this dizzy state of gravitating around Sam like a moth around a flame, without a sensible thought in my head.

   Sam has this unique ability to make me do things I used to think I was incapable of. He provokes me, urges me to desire, to believe in the impossible. I have never allowed myself to crave someone before. But here I am, sitting on this big, hot, tattooed man's lap, crying my eyes out at the realization of how deeply in love I am with him and how unimaginable it is to give him all he deserves. I will never be what he expects. I let this all go too far. It is clear that he does not take my words seriously. He thinks he can change my mind... but he can't.

   Two things became crystal clear to me that day when he stormed in the changing room, and then while I was hiding from him the entire evening and contemplating for hours weather to call and apologize the following morning. The first one was that I would never be able to give up on him. The second one was that my infatuation made me forget who I was and mislead him terribly. And yet, I couldn't resist and went on a date with him. God, it was great! But it wasn't fair. That didn't stop me from inviting him for a cooking lesson, though.

   Now, I am shattered to the core by the thought that I have to be honest and tell him the truth because it would be so deceiving to hide it any longer.

   "Yeah, your cuteness costed me a good amount of money, a skillet and living with no one to clean and cook for me for a week at best," Sam chuckles, interrupting my gloomy thoughts. "Who knows when Rose will finally forgive me for corrupting you. But I would totally go through it all again. I'm so smitten by you, silly." He buries his fingers in my hair and pulls a handful to make me look at his face. His eyes are a little worried, but he still smiles softly at me. "You being ugly is the most absurd thing I've ever heard in my life. Haven't you seen yourself in the mirror? You're hot! Besides, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I don't judge people by their looks."

   My heart painfully shrinks. How could I totally dismiss all the blinking red lights in my head? I can't believe that I was so reckless.

   "I'm not speaking about my face, Sam," I sigh. "I'm not out of my mind."

   "No, no, no! What is this mournful voice? I won't tolerate it to be called Sam," he pouts. "Come on! Who am I?"

   I peek at his pretended outraged expression, and a tiny smile crawls on my lips. I have no idea how he does it, but he can be scary, cute, and smoking hot, all at the same time.

   "Say it!" Sam insists.

   "You're my Teddy Bear," I hesitantly mutter.

   "Very good! And what are teddy bears for?" He raises a questioning brow.

   "To cuddle with them?" I can't suppress a giggle.

   "That's right!" He pecks my lips. "What else?"

   "To help you feel better when you're down," I whisper, making him grin.

   "Exactly!" Sam confirms, squeezing me closer. "Stop worrying about sex and what will happen if we do it or if we don't. Just hug your Teddy Bear and smile, Peppercorn! Everything will be just fine. We'll go step by step, no promises, no fears, just me and you, learning about each other, and we'll see where it takes us. Can you do that for me?"

   Strangely, I'm suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of utter happiness. Maybe the situation is not so hopeless. I know he was too quick to state that he could live without sex. I doubt he can restrain to only kissing and holding, but I feel hope that I'll change one day and stop hiding, and he might accept me as I am.

   "Thank you, Teddy Bear!' I wipe away my tears and kiss his lips. "I feel so much better now."

   "See! It's not so bad," Sam starts rubbing soothingly my back. "Would you like to explain now what exactly about yourself you consider ugly and why?"

   "Mmm, I kind of don't want to talk about it right now," I shake my head. I know I have to, but it will ruin this perfect moment. Just thinking about it makes me nauseous. I quickly add, "I will. I promise! Can we kiss and cuddle now? Just without taking clothes off, ok?"

   "Sure, babe," he smirks. "Does this apply to you only or to both of us, cause I don't really mind dropping my drawers?"

   "What do you mean?" I'm gazing at him with wide eyes.

   "I mean that, if you want to see or touch something, I'm not opposed to it, and you don't have to let me do the same," Sam keeps smirking.

   "Oh," I gasp, burning in red. "Can I see, I mean, can I touch... your... umm..."

   "My cocktail?" he snorts through laughter.

   "No!" I pout. "Your tattoos."

   "My tattoos where?" Sam raises a brow. "I've got them in many different places."

   "What places?" I can't help but squeak curiously.

   Sam takes my hand and puts my open palm on his chest, "Here...," then he moves it to his thigh, "... and also here..." Next is his biceps, "... here as well." He carefully places it on his crotch, leans closer, and whispers in my ear, "I've got some here too."

   "Really?" I shriek. He slowly nods. I am fighting the urge. It is so unfair to ask it, especially after I stated that I would never take my clothes off in front of him. But now that I know how understanding Sam is, and I do not have to worry about having to reciprocate it, despite my greatest efforts, I just can not resist. I peek at his face, hoping that my cheeks won't catch fire at any second, and mumble, "Show me!"

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A/N

Hello, at the end of chapter 18!

Thank you so much for reading and supporting! ❤❤❤

Do you think Sam managed to handle the situation well? 

Will he be able to find out what the problem is and help Alec overcome it?🤔

And the ultimate question is, is Alec ready for what he's about to see? 😂😂😂

Share your thoughts, ask questions, and criticize if you think it's necessary.

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Love: Anny