Between Love and Hate

Retail Therapy

*Violet's POV*

No no no no. What did I just do? That was wrong on so many levels. He's my step-brother and I have a boyfriend. Oh god, I just cheated on Jace. I'm such a horrible person. But why did it feel so good? Kissing Jace is nice, sure, but that? That was a whole other level. My body has never reacted that way before. It was like everywhere he was touching was on fire. No! Stop it! I can't be thinking this way! I have a boyfriend who I love and who loves me. I will not screw that up!

I don't even know why he kissed me. It makes no sense. I have so many questions that I'll probably never get the answers to. I do know two things for sure though. One: I cannot tell anybody about this. And two: it can never happen again.

When I step into the room, Stella is on her laptop and she doesn't look up when she asks, "So, how did it go?"

I'm thankful she's not looking at me because I feel my cheeks heat up. "Uh it was fine. He's going to drive and we'll leave after lunch on Friday."

"Cool," she says, still only half paying attention.

"I think I'm gonna go for a run and then do you wanna grab lunch at the cafeteria after?"

"Yeah, sure, sounds good."

I change into leggings and a sports bra and t-shirt and put my headphones in as I head out the door. I don't bother to plan out a route.

I run until my head is clear and when I get back to the room, I pull my headphones out and Stella says, "You better shower fast or we're not gonna make it to the cafeteria before it closes."

I look at my watch and see that it's already 12:30 and they stop serving food at 1pm. I ran for an hour and a half?! It didn't feel like it. I quickly grab my shower stuff and rush to the bathroom.

I get ready in record time and we make it just in time to get our food. We sit down to eat and Stella asks me if I have plans for this afternoon.

"Nope, nothing. Why?"

"Wanna go find a mall or something?"

"What for?"

She shrugs and says, "Nothing in particular. Just to have a look around. Do you not do that?"

"Not really, no. But I could always start," I say with a smile.

"Yay, okay! I'm excited."

We take my car to the mall and we start walking around, going into random stores. Stella talks me into trying on a bunch of skirts and dresses and shirts that are way outside of my comfort zone.

"Why does it feel like you brought me here so you could dress me up?" I joke.

She looks away guiltily and I say, "Oh my gosh, you did, didn't you?!"

"Vi, you need clothes other than jeans and t-shirts. Besides, you look hot in literally everything. I have no idea why you're hiding underneath all that plaid and cotton."

That is not a conversation I want to have right now so I just shrug it off and say, "Yeah, I probably do need to expand my clothing horizons."

When we leave the mall, I've purchased almost an entirely new wardrobe as well as some makeup. I'm happy Stella was there to guide me. There's just so much of it and I haven't the slightest clue when it comes to that stuff.

When we make it back to our room, I hang up all my new things and I look at Stella and say, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For dragging me to the mall. Even though it was under false pretenses," I joke. "I actually had a really good time."

"Hey, they don't call it retail therapy for nothing," she says with a wink.

I know she was being sarcastic but I contemplate her words and can't help but think she might be more right than she thinks. I've never just 'gone to the mall' for fun before. It always seemed to be such a terrifying endeavour for me. In fact, I used to have nightmares about it every time I needed to go. But today, with Stella, I legitimately had fun. She made me feel really good trying on clothes. She must have some magical confidence boosting abilities or something.

I realize I've gone very quiet when she says, "Vi? You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry, I'm good."

After I finish hanging up my clothes, we head to the cafeteria for dinner and then spend the evening doing our nails and dancing around our room to music. It's the most free I've felt in, well, probably ever.