Between Love and Hate

I Will Not Be Responsible

*Violet's POV*

It takes me several seconds to process his words."Wh- Why? Why is he not in jail? We need to go to the police!" I realize he's never actually mentioned his mother before. I didn't even think to ask about her.

"No! We cannot go to the police!" he yells at me, panic lacing his tone.

"Why not?! You witnessed him murder someone!"

"Because, Violet, it's a lot more complicated than that! You don't understand."

"Then help me understand. Because from where I'm sitting, it looks an awful lot like you're helping your father cover up his murders," I say to him and instantly regret my words.

"Don't you dare accuse me of helping that man," he says. His voice is so cold, a shiver runs down my spine.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I-"

"I know. You're confused, and that's my fault," he says, voice softening. "I'll explain everything to you, okay?"

"Okay, I'm listening." He grabs my hands and takes a breath.

"Harper's punishments for bad behaviour didn't only include the physical beatings. He used to make me watch him hurt her. That hurt me more than any hit or bruise ever could. It was my fault he was hurting her and I couldn't do anything about it. The more I fought back and begged him not to do it, the worse it would be for her."

He squeezes his eyes shut momentarily, pain written plainly across his face. My own heart starts to squeeze and I hurt for him and I know what I'm feeling is only a fraction of what he's probably going through.

"One night, when I was 12, he had her tied to a chair in the basement and he had a knife and there was just so much blood. I had to do something. I grabbed the knife and I ran. I ran to our neighbours house down the street. The guy was the chief of police. I banged on his door and I saw my father chasing after me. When he answered the door and saw me, and then saw my father chasing me, he just closed the door right in my face. That's when I knew I had made a huge mistake. He was on my father's payroll. My father caught up to me and hit me hard enough to knock me out. When I woke up, I was tied to a chair facing my mother who passed out in hers. I won't go into the details, but he killed her that night. And it was all my fault. He was punishing me for going to the cops and she died because of it. "

"Kane, that is not your fault. You have to know that. You are not responsible for anything Harper did." I feel the stream of tears running down my cheeks starting to soak through my t-shirt as they hit my chest.

"I am though! Everything he did to her was because I couldn't listen. Because I couldn't follow the rules," he says, voice breaking at the end. He looks away and I can tell he's trying hard to maintain his composure.

"Is that why we can't go to the cops? Because you think this is your fault? Kane, that's-"

"No, that's not why. He has the knife Violet. The one that has my fingerprints all over it. And after he untied me, I ran to her and I told her I was sorry and that it was all my fault, and he was recording me. If I ever went to the cops, it would be me that would go down for the murder. Not him."

My brain struggles to process this information. "But what about Lana and Veronica?"

"I think they were out of frustration."

"I don't understand."

"He thinks his plan is failing and it's making him mad and they're easy targets. Especially if they're here illegally. Nobody is going to look for them."

"What plan? I don't understand."

"After my mother died, my physical punishments got worse, which you already know about, but I shut myself off to everyone so he lost his only method of emotional torture. I never cared about anyone or anything again. Until I met you."

"Me? What are you talking about?"

"At the wedding, the day we met, something about you instantly drew me to you, made me want to protect you. My father saw it. I wasn't able to hide it fast enough. So instead, I spent the last 5 years saying and doing whatever I could to make him believe I hated you. I don't think he ever really did though. In fact, I think that's why he moved us here. He knew you went here. He wanted me to get close to you so he could use you against me."

My stomach twists in fear and I have to swallow down the bile rising in my throat.

"Violet, I am so sorry I put you in this position. It was selfish of me to let things go this far. I'm putting you in danger by being with you and it's so wrong of me. You should just leave me. Save yourself."

"What?! No!" I start to panic, which somehow makes me cry even harder than I already was. "I'm not leaving you! We need to stop him!"

"Violet, we can't!"

"He's killed two people in the last month if you're right! How many more innocent people have to die before someone does something! We can figure this out Kane, I know we can."

"No, Violet. I will not risk your life any more than I already have! I will not be responsible for the death of the only person in this world that I have ever loved!"

I blink a few times. "Y-you love me?" I whisper.

"Shit. I shouldn't have said that," he says, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"So, you don't then?" I say quietly. Hearing him say it was a mistake makes me feel like my heart is being shredded into pieces.

"I didn't say that! Of course I love you! I loved you from the moment we met! I loved you even when I had myself and everyone else convinced that I hated you!" The frustration and desperation in his voice as he looks away is so raw and I crawl over to sit in his lap and take his face in my hands and force him to look at me.

"I love you too," I say and see sadness in his eyes as a tear escapes down his cheek.

"How can you say that after everything I've just told you?"

"Because it's true. Because even though we have literally everything against us, I still want to try. I want to fight. Because this is worth fighting for; you're worth fighting for."

"No, I'm not, Violet! I can't give you a happy ending. It's just not in the cards for me. My life is too messy. You're already too involved. I'm not good for you. I don't deserve your love."

"Of course you do! How can you even say that? Kane, none of what happened is your fault. I don't blame you for any of it, even if you blame yourself. I know you won't change your mind overnight, because I know how hard it is to change your mindset, trust me. But I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone. Do you believe me?"

He looks into my eyes and then nods.

"Good, now let's figure out how to put an end to this. For your mother, for Lana and Veronica and all the other people he's hurt and will hurt in the future. For us."

"There's a very strong chance we don't survive this."

"I know."

Maybe Lucas wasn't as far off with his Romeo and Juliet reference as I originally thought.