Between Love and Hate

About Last Night

*Kane's POV*

When I walk inside my room, I lean back against the door and rest my head on it, letting my eyes close. It takes every last shred of self-control not to open this door back up and finish what I started at the club. It seems like every cell in my body is urging me to do it, but I can't put her in danger anymore. I need to just let her be with her nice, tame, football-playing golden boy. She's better off that way.

I wait until I hear her go to and then return to her room from the bathroom, wait another five minutes and then sneak over to brush my teeth before quickly returning to my bedroom.

I lie on the bed and allow myself to briefly consider a world where Violet and I had met under different circumstances. One where it would be easy to be with her. I drift off to sleep, dreaming of this other, beautifully impossible world.

When I awaken the next morning, my dream land comes crashing down around me and I'm thrust back into the harsh reality where no matter what path I take, I end up miserable.

I pack my bags and bring them downstairs with me. We decided yesterday to leave after breakfast because Violet said she wanted to prepare for her first day. I'm not entirely sure what that entails but I don't argue. As far as I'm concerned, the earlier we can get out of here, the better.

Just as I'm dropping my bags in the entrance, the door opens and Violet comes in. Her cheeks are tinged pink and her skin has a sheen of sweat over it and she's wearing leggings and a t-shirt that clings to her body in a way that makes my mind go places it shouldn't.

"Good morning." she says softly. Even her voice is the most captivating sound I've ever heard. I don't know how I'll manage to stay away from her but I know I have to.

"Morning," I reply, keeping my voice as even as possible and avoiding eye contact.

"This again, huh?" She replies. She waits a few seconds and when I don't reply she just walks away and heads up the stairs, presumably to shower. I head over to the kitchen and find Lana in there making breakfast.

"Coffee Mr. Owen?" She asks me.

"Yes please," I say shortly. I don't mean to be abrupt with her but I can't help it. She brings me a cup and I thank her before pulling out my phone and absentmindedly scrolling through social media while sipping on the coffee.

Eventually my father and Heather come down, followed shortly after by Violet who somehow still manages to look good, even in leggings and a hoodie with her hair in a bun and no makeup on.

Lana brings us all coffee and then sets the food on the table.

"So did you guys have fun last night?" Heather asks. Violet chokes on her coffee a little and my eyes flicker to her and see her wipe her mouth quickly before she says, "Yeah, um, we did. I'm glad Marissa introduced me to Lucas yesterday."

Smart. Diverting the focus.

"Yes, he is a nice boy. I can't believe he's, well, you know-"

"Gay?" Violet says with her eyebrows raised.

"Yes, that," Heather says and blushes. She quickly changes the subject, making Violet's distraction techniques a success.

"Are you excited to start classes tomorrow?" She asks.

"Yeah, I am actually," Violet replies. We continue to eat breakfast and idly chat about the upcoming school year. When we're finished, Lana begins clearing the plate and Violet looks over to me and she doesn't have to say anything for me to know what she's asking. I nod and then she says, "Well, we should get on the road. I have some things to sort out before classes start."

"Very well, let us walk you to the door," my father says. We all head to the entrance and Violet hugs both her mother and my father and says, "Thank you so much for having me."

"Thank you for coming, you're welcome here anytime. We do hope you'll return soon," my father tells her. His tone is polite enough but I can see the glint in his eyes. This weekend passed with no incident which means he's just biding his time. Maybe waiting until he's sure I'm attached to her. It's a good thing he doesn't seem to know that I already am.

We head out to the car and I open the trunk and we both throw our bags in. She gets in the passenger seat and when we've driven out of the neighbourhood, I can tell she's trying to figure out how to approach the topic of last night.

"Let me save you the trouble, Violet. It won't happen again," I say shortly.

"Oh. That's- yeah- that's what I was gonna say too," She replies softly, doing a terrible job of hiding the disappointment in her tone. Regardless, her words cut me deeper than they should be able to. It seems like she came to the same conclusion I did; that she's better off without me.

It should be a good thing that we're on the same page, so why does it feel so shitty? I realize I'm gripping the steering wheel a lot tighter than I should so I force myself to relax a little.