Between Love and Hate

We Can't

*Kane's POV*

It's finally here. The day we go to my father's house for the second time. Only this time, everything has changed. The task of pretending like I'm not madly in love with Violet seems so insurmountable at this point that I'm terrified we might both end up suffering. I haven't told her how I feel and I don't plan to. I won't. Not unless I can somehow figure out how to unravel the knot my father created that can ruin my life and now hers too.

I head out to pick her up from the dorms. She had to go back to pack her bags and spend some time with Stella before leaving. She feels like a bad roommate for spending so much time here which is absurd because Stella gets it and is completely fine hanging out with other people from the dorm. Violet is just very sensitive to other people's feelings which is one of the things I love most about her but can also be very inconvenient at times.

When I get to their building, I find Violet already waiting outside for me. She smiles when she sees my car pull in and I can't help but return it. It's strange smiling so often. It's something I am definitely not used to doing but she gives me a reason to every day.

She tosses her bag in the back seat and then hops into the passenger side.

"Hi," she says. I can tell she's nervous but is trying to hide it.

"Hi darling. Are you sure we have to go?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Besides, we already told our parents we were going so it would look suspicious if we backed out now."

I just nod and then start driving. If I'm honest, I'm terrified we won't be good enough actors to convince my father nothing has changed. I was able to play my part for years but only because I had actually convinced myself I hated her. That is no longer going to be possible.

The car ride is fairly silent as we've already worked out our game plan and we're both too nervous to pretend to have a normal conversation. I hold onto her hand the entire time and draw little circles on the back of it with my thumb. I'm not sure if it's more to soothe her or myself.

When we pull up, we both grab our bags from the front and walk to the door.

This time, Violet just opens the door and we walk right in. A lady walks around the corner and says, "Mr. Owen, Miss. Shaw, please allow me to take your bags."

What the fuck? Where the fuck is Lana? I don't answer her and just drop my bag on the floor. I have no time to check out Violet's reaction before my father and Heather come walking down the hall.

Heather hugs us both and my father gives Violet a hug during which it takes all of my self-control to just stand there and not do anything stupid.

"We're so happy you're here," Heather says with a polite smile.

"Me too. I'm really glad Lucas invited me," Violet replies smoothly.

"Well, come on in. Dinner will be ready soon, but we can have some bourbon. I tracked down a few bottles you suggested last time Violet," my dad says, giving his full attention to her. She nods with a small smile and then we follow them back to the bar where he pours us each a glass. We sit down on the sofas and Violet and I sit as far away from each other as possible.

"So I guess Lucas invited you to his party as well then?" My father asks me.

"Yes sir," I reply, attempting to keep my tone neutral.

"So, is Lana sick or something?" Violet asks my father.

"No. She no longer works here. Veronica is our new housekeeper," he says and something in his tone sends a shiver down my spine. I feel sick. I look at Violet trying to silently beg her not to ask anymore questions.

"Oh. Okay," Violet replies casually. I almost breathe out a sigh of relief. She takes a sip of her bourbon and then Heather says, "Violet, I'm surprised Jace didn't come with you for a visit. I haven't seen him in so long."

Jace? She didn't tell them. I see her pause for only a moment before replying, "There's a fundraising event at the frat house this weekend so he couldn't come."

What is she doing?

"Oh, that's too bad, but I understand how important fundraising events are," Heather replies. I guess she's just trying to avoid questions or something. It's not the worst idea but I don't like the idea of anybody thinking she belongs to someone else.

We sit and drink for a bit while Heather and my father ask us generic questions about our classes and we all pretend that this conversation doesn't make us want to claw out our eyeballs.

Finally, Veronica comes back into the room and tells us that dinner is ready and we all get up, thankful to be saved from our conversation.

After we finish eating, Violet says, "Well, this was a lovely dinner, but I am feeling pretty tired from the drive, and you know, I had a busy week so I think I'll just call it a night."

"Of course. Get some rest," Heather tells her and she just nods and says, "Goodnight everyone," and then heads upstairs.

"I'm going to do the same actually. Long drive. Goodnight," I say and then quickly escape to my bedroom.

Once I get inside, I pull my phone out and call Violet. She answers right away and says, "Hey, you escaped too?"

"Yeah, that was uncomfortable."

She chuckles and says, "That's an understatement. So, what do you think happened with Lana? Is it normal for your Dad to switch housekeepers this often?"

My stomach drops again. "No. It's not. I-" I pause. I have a theory but I don't think I should tell Violet. It would just scare her. Besides, now more than ever, I need her acting skills to be on point if what I think happened is true.

"You what? Do you know something?"

"No. Nothing." Technically it isn't a lie. I don't know anything for sure. The only thing I know is the feeling in my gut that something is seriously wrong.

She pauses for a few seconds before replying, "Okay."

"Are you actually going to sleep right now?"

"No, I just wanted to get out of that painfully awkward situation," she says with a forced chuckle.

"Same here. I really wish I could come over there."

"Me too. I - I don't sleep as well by myself. Is that weird?"

"No, it's not weird. I don't sleep as well without you either," she tells me.

"So, your mom doesn't know about Jace then," I say as nonchalantly as possible.

"No. I totally forgot that I never called to tell her, but I think it's safer for us if they think I'm still with him, right?" She says, asking for my confirmation.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"Well, I'm going to brush my teeth now. See you in the bathroom?" She asks in a hopeful tone.

"Yeah," I reply quietly. She hangs up the phone and then I wait to hear her door open before following her to the bathroom. I close and lock the door behind me and after we've both brushed our teeth and are ready for bed, she leans back against the counter and I move in front of her and place my hands on the counter beside her hips.

"It's a bit strange how much has changed since the last time we were in this position isn't it?" She whispers.

I nod and then bend down to gently press my lips into hers. I feel her hands move up around the back of my neck and she pulls me further into her. I pull back before we can pass the point of no return.

"We can't darling,"

"I know," she says, failing to conceal the disappointment colouring her tone. She stands up from the counter and hugs me, burying her face in my chest and my heart is screaming at me to just follow her into her room and say fuck it all, but I can't.

She sighs and then pulls back and says, "Goodnight Kane," before grabbing her things and leaving the bathroom.