Between Love and Hate

Ketchup

*Violet's POV*

When Kane tells me it won't happen again I can't help but feel upset about it. He made me feel so amazing last night with just his fingers and the thought that I won't ever feel that way again is so disappointing. I try and think about a time when Jace ever made me feel even half that amount of pleasure and I come up blank. I really shouldn't be making these kinds of comparisons but I just can't help it.

It looks as though this drive is going to be another 3 hours of silent treatment from Kane so I pull out my ereader and continue the book I started on the drive up. At one point, my phone vibrates and I see a text from Lucas.

I open it to find a couple of the pictures that we took last night with the message: I post one and you post one?

I type back: Yes! I'll take the 2nd one.

Lucas: Deal!

I post the picture and tag him in it and then get a notification at almost exactly the same time that he tagged me in a photo. I smile at them. He did a great job editing these. We look good with the Manhattan skyline in the background and I actually like the way I look in that outfit too. I was a little afraid I might regret it when I sobered up.

Not even twenty minutes later, my phone starts vibrating again and I see Jace's name pop up. I smile and then answer it, "Hey Jace," I say.

"Care to explain this photo?!" I hear him yell into the phone.

"What do you mean?"

"Who is this guy? Why does he have his arm around you?"

"Lucas is my mom's neighbour who you don't need to worry about on account of he's very gay," I explain calmly even though I'm irritated that he's pissed off about a guy putting his arm around me. Then I feel guilty because someone did much more than that, but it wasn't Lucas.

"Okay, fine. Then let's discuss your outfit. Or lack thereof. Since when did you start dressing like that?"

"Like what, Jace? A normal person? That's how literally everyone dresses to clubs."

"Not you! You don't even go to clubs. What is happening to you Vi?"

"What do you mean what's happening to me? I thought you would be happy for me. I've been working on my-" I pause and my eyes flicker to Kane briefly before I continue with, "My, you know, my issue for years! I'm finally getting out there."

He sighs into the phone and says, "You're right, I'm sorry. I'm overreacting. I guess I just wish I would have been there with you, you know? It feels like you don't need me as much anymore and that's a bit hard for me to handle." My heart softens at his words.

"I get it. Look, I'm in the car right now heading back to campus, but how about we facetime later? Like after dinner. Maybe around 7ish?" I suggest. I really don't want to have this conversation with Kane in the car. His presence is making it very hard to concentrate.

"Okay, yeah. I'll talk to you later. I love you Vi."

"Love you too," I say and can't help but feel really awkward saying that to someone else with Kane sitting beside me, which makes absolutely no sense. The line goes dead and I go back to my book, putting in a large amount of effort not to look over at him.

Several minutes later Kane says, "What issues?"

"What?"

"Violet, come on. I'm not deaf."

"I don't really want to discuss this with you," I tell him. He's literally the last person I want to discuss this with actually.

"Fine, then I guess I'll just start making my own assumptions. I didn't forget what your mother said about recovery at dinner the other day. What was it? Blow?"