Between Love and Hate

12 Hours

*Kane's POV*

After hanging up the phone, I sit on my bed and try to calm myself down. I was worried she might run into Jace on this little trip, but I did not consider that she might have dinner with him and then a whole conversation about potentially becoming friends.

I know how much she hated it when Jace was all jealous about Lucas so I tried really hard on the phone not to be but now I can't get images of them laughing and talking and hanging out at dinner with both of their parents; things normal couples do. I can't give her that and he can.

I should have just let her go. I should have let her find some nice, normal guy to date. She shouldn't be stuck with me. No, she's not stuck. She wants to be here, right? She tells me that all the time. God I wish she were here now.

I realize I'm pacing around my room and try to force myself to calm down. I grab the scotch from my desk drawer and down several gulps and then take a seat on my bed.

I put on a movie, but it seems like every 5 minutes images Jace and Violet together appear in my brain. I check the time and it's just past midnight. I'm never gonna sleep tonight at this rate. Before my brain can catch up, I'm clicking the call button for Violet's contact. On the third ring I consider hanging up, realizing how insane this is but then I hear her voice on the other end.

"Kane? Are you okay?" Her voice is thick with sleep and I feel bad about waking her.

"Yeah, I-I just really needed to hear your voice." Fuck me, that sounds pathetic.

"Did something happen?"

"No. Not really. I don't know," I want to explain, but I don't know how.

"What can I do?" she asks.

"Can you just stay on the phone with me? You can go back to sleep, just don't hang up."

"Yeah, of course I can. And Kane?"

"Yes darling?"

"I love you."

"And I you. Goodnight again love."

I listen and when I hear her breathing slow down a few minutes later, it's enough to slow my previously erratic heart rate. Eventually, I manage to find sleep too.

The next morning when I wake up, I look over and see that the call is still connected but I can't hear anything on the other side.

"Violet?" I whisper into it.

I hear a clicking sound and then Violet says, "Good Morning." She sounds a little out of breath.

"Are you running?"

"Yeah, sorry, I woke up at 7am and I could still hear you sleeping, but I didn't wanna wake you so I just muted myself and figured I would hear you wake up."

"Did you have a good sleep?"

"It was better with you on the phone."

"Same here. Well, I'll let you get back to your run. Call me tonight?"

"Of course. Talk to you later Kane."

"Bye for now love."

The comfort from having her on the phone all night is short-lived and by the time dinner rolls around, the images of her and Jace together have returned full force and I'm seriously debating going to the fights tonight.

I lie in bed, checking my phone for any messages from her every 5 minutes and it's nearly 9pm when she facetimes me. I answer and see her sitting on a bed cross legged wearing leggings and a sweater with her hair in a bun.