Between Love and Hate

The Danger

*Kane's POV*

After she told me about it, I looked it up and read about signs of relapse and I know she said she didn't want me to watch her but I can't help it. When she tells me she's not hungry, it scares me for a second but when I tell her that it's not open for discussion, she agrees quickly and I relax a little.

As I sit on her bed with her standing in between my legs and my arms around her waist, it feels impossible to keep fighting this. Every time we're in the same room our bodies just migrate towards each other. They clearly didn't get the memo that we can't be together.

When we hear a key turn in the lock, Violet jumps back from me and I instantly miss her warmth. Stella walks in and looks back and forth between us, trying to figure out, well, everything I suspect.

"So, um, we're going to breakfast, but I'll fill you in on everything after, I promise."

Stella nods and then I stand up off the bed and I automatically go to wrap my arm around her waist but my brain catches up before it can get all the way there and I drop it again. I look at Stella and she raises an eyebrow. Damn, I was hoping she hadn't seen that.

I follow her down to her car and then she gets in the driver's seat and says, "Where to?"

I direct her to a little cafe and we go to the counter and order coffees and breakfast sandwiches and then go get a table.

"So, how are you feeling?" I ask her.

"I don't know. Kind of numb, I guess. I feel like I should be more upset about this but I don't know. I guess I always kind of knew this would happen. He would find someone better-"

"No, I'm gonna stop you right there. You're-" You're perfect. Is what I want to say, but I don't.

"I'm what, Kane?" She says and looks up at me with her innocent blue eyes.

"Nothing," I say and then look away.

"Don't shut down on me right now. Please."

"I don't want to, but I have to. For your safety."

"What does that even mean? Up until 2 weeks ago I thought you hated me, but now, it's like you flip flop so much it's making me dizzy."

"Up until two weeks ago we had an ocean between us. And now with you so close by, it's exhausting trying to stay away from you."

"Then don't," She says and my heart leaps out of my chest.

"Violet, please don't make this harder for me than it already is. I'm not good for you. It's not safe for you to be around me."

"You keep saying that but where exactly is this danger you're trying to keep me safe from?"

"My father is the danger, Violet!" I blurt out in a whisper yell.

"Your father? I mean yeah, I'm sure he would be upset about it but I don't think it would be that bad," She says, hesitantly.

"You don't know my father," I say in a grave voice. I see her flinch and then I continue, "I don't even know why we're talking about this. And with the whole Jace thing on top of that. Are you even officially broken up?"

"You didn't seem to care about that at the club last week, so why does it matter now?"

"Because, it just does Violet." Because if I get any more attached to her and she takes him back, it'll crush me.

She huffs and says, "This conversation is going in circles. Look, I know I have to deal with the whole Jace thing first, but I also know that I'm not imagining whatever it is I feel when I'm around you," she says the last bit quietly and looks down at her coffee.

Her tone makes me soften. I am way too far into this, but I can't bring myself to tell her no anymore.

"Okay. One step at a time though. You have to deal with Jace first." What did I just agree to? The storm of conflicting emotions is causing my stomach to churn.

"Deal," she says and then we finish our food in silence.

When we're done she says, "Alright, let's go get your car."

"Oh, no, I'll just take a taxi or something."

"Don't be ridiculous. You came to UMass to get me yesterday, I'm bringing you to your car."

"Alright, geez, when did you get so bossy?"

She smiles and says, "I'm learning from you." I feel the tug of a smile forming at the corner of my mouth.

"Careful, you're almost smiling over there. Wouldn't want to ruin your image with that," she says playfully and flashes me a grin.

"You make an excellent point. I shall be more careful in the future," I say as seriously as I can manage, but she must see the amusement in my eyes because she giggles a little. That's very quickly becoming one of my favourite sounds.

"Come on, let's go," she says and stands up, heading towards her car.

When we pull up at the gym, she looks around and says, "This is the place? Where's your car?"

"Right beside us," I say pointing to the civic. "Can't exactly bring a porsche to this neighbourhood and expect it not to get stolen."

"Speaking of which, why do you come here? I'm sure there are other boxing gyms closer to school in, you know, safer areas."

"It's not the same. I prefer this type of gym." I hear Violet's phone buzzing again. Jace has been calling her all morning so it's probably him again.

"Hey, Stella, what's up?" She asks. Not Jace then.

"He what?" she pauses. "Yeah, that's because I've been ignoring him." She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs and then says, "No, it's fine. I'll be there in like 20 minutes."

She hangs up and then says, "Jace is at my dorm. I've gotta go deal with that."

"I'll follow you there," I tell her.

"No, it's fine. I need to do this on my own."

I nod and say, "If you need anything, you call me, yeah?"

"I will. And, thank you, again," she says and I get out of her car and watch her drive away.