Between Love and Hate

A Thing

*Violet's POV*

When I get home from class, I find Stella lounging on her bed. She sits up and says, "So, did you have a good time last night?" While wiggling her eyebrows.

I drop my bag on the ground and then sit on my bed facing her and say, "We didn't do anything last night."

"Seriously? You had a man that looks like that in your bed and you just slept?"

"I said nothing happened last night. You didn't ask about this morning," with a small smile.

She laughs and says, "Come on Vi, semantics! So, spill! What happened?"

I feel my cheeks flush. I'm really not used to discussing these kinds of things. Stella makes me feel more comfortable talking about it though. I think it's because she is so...sexually liberated. "Nothing too, you know, over the top. Just hand stuff."

"Ugh, I bet he's great with his fingers."

I nod and say, "The dance floor last weekend was my first orgasm."

"Like, your first one with him?"

"No. My first one, like, ever," I say sheepishly.

"What?! No way! You're telling me you stayed with a guy for 4 years who had never given you an orgasm?! And also, furthermore, you never just did it yourself?!"

"I didn't know what I was missing out on! And I didn't know how to do it myself. Besides I thought people in relationships don't, well, touch themselves" I wince as I say the last part.

"Jesus, Vi. Well thank God Kane came along. A life without orgasms is not a life worth living."

"That's a bit dramatic," I reply with a chuckle. Although, now that I've experienced it, I can kind of see why she might think that way.

"No, it's not. Anyway, I'm just glad you've finally been enlightened. So, when are you gonna see him again?"

"I have no idea. I don't even know what we're doing. I'm not convinced I know how to do this strange secret...thing we have going on. I don't even really know if it is a thing."

"Oh, it's definitely a thing. He picked you up Saturday, spent the night with you, left, called to check up on you and then brought us dinner, watched chick flicks with us and then stayed here again and THEN walked you to class. I have literally never had a guy do that much for me over the span of an entire relationship."

"Alright, alright! I get it. You win, it's a thing. A very strange, complicated, borderline ethically questionable thing." I wince again.

"Don't think too much about it, okay? Now, I know it's not your thing, but just try to go with the flow."

I smile and say, "Yeah, you're right. It turns out my learning curve for 'going with the flow' has been very steep these last couple weeks, thanks to you."

She does a dramatic hair flip and says, "All in a day's work. So are you gonna tell your parents about Jace?"

"Yeah, I mean no, well sort of. Obviously I'm going to tell them we broke up but I don't want to tell them about the whole cheating thing. I mean, he messed up, but like he's still important to me and I don't want people thinking less of him."

"Wow, you are a much nicer person than me," she says jokingly.

"Well, I mean I also did stuff with Kane while him and I were still together so technically, I cheated too."

"Alright, having sex five times and then pretending to lose your v-card with your girlfriend of 4 years is not the same as getting fingered at a club."