"let me tell you something, darling. you've unlocked a side of me, even I fear. but since you want to keep me up all night, challenging me, he's gonna show up at some point." Mateo whispers, huskily into my ear, gripping my neck.
"what are you talki...
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"Teo."
"yes, beautiful?"
"can you sing to me?"
"of course. what song?"
"Can You Stand The Rain?"
Mateo holds me tighter as I straddle his lap. my head on his bare chest and my arms wrapped around him. he starts singing and I hold him tighter.
it's the second night my dad's been in the hospital. my family is staying at our house and I haven't let Mateo leave my side. he said he doesn't mind and that he'll always be here.
I've cried a few times today, he's held me every time. he's made sure I've eaten and drank water. even when I didn't feel like it. he's made me smile and laugh a few times and I'm grateful for that.
I'm grateful he's stayed.
no one's seen me this depressed before and the whole time Mateo hasn't pitied me. he knows what it's like and he knows how hard it is. I wouldn't want anyone else to see me like this except him.
he's let me see him at his worse and trusted me enough to. and I... I love him for that.
no.
that's too quick.
that's too quick right?
yeah. it's just a strong amount of lust.
Mateo's baritone voice sings, soothing me. I love when he sings. it puts me at peace. it keeps me safe.
his whole presence makes me feel safe and calm.
most people would feel scared and intimidated when he's around, but I feel loved and appreciated. I know behind his tough build is the softest guy anyone could meet. so polite and careful.
"Am I a good girlfriend?" I ask when he finishes singing.
"A great one, Tesoro." Mateo rubs my back and kisses my head. I love when he does that.
"I'm not too much?" I ask looking up at him.
"you're never gonna be too much for me. the day I asked you out was the day I prepared for everything that was to come. arguments that haven't come, days when we don't see or talk to each other, days when we're at our lowest. the day I asked you to be my girlfriend was the day I knew there was no going back. the day I knew I was ready. you're never too much for me and I never want you to doubt the feelings I have for you." he holds my face.
he wipes the tears that come out of my eyes as we hold eye contact.
"I look like shit right now." I sniffle playing with the sleeves of Mateo's sweatshirt I have on. my insecurities getting the best of me.
"you look beautiful. Absolutely beautiful." I break out into sobs again Mateo wraps his arms around me again.
I feel so weak. crying all the time. small words trigging tears.
