The Difference Between Fear and Terror

Untitled Part 24

As I step through the threshold the volume skyrockets. No one touches me, but I feel crowded and awkward. Their eyes go from my face, to the nightlight, and back to my face. It seems like they missed me, but why would they?

I am led over to the couch and I sink into it, ready for interrogation to start. "How are you feeling?" asks Kota. "I-I'm f-fine." He cocks an eyebrow at me. "Are you?" Why do people keep doing that? Can't they just take my answer? I guess I take too long to answer because everybody seems to deflate.

Gabriel is trying to contain himself, but ultimately fails. "Did that fucker ever feed you? You are even more tiny than before." The anger in his voice makes me tense. I scoot back further into the couch, minimizing the surface area available to be hit. I take a deep breath and hold it for a second, trying to calm my racing heart. It's Gabriel. Gabriel won't hurt me.

How to answer? I don't want them to freak out. "S-sometimes?" They all cringe, but I'm not sure if it is at my answer or my reaction to the question. I don't want to talk about it, so I turn the question back to them. "H-how are you?"

"I'm so... so relieved to have you back," says North, "It has been a hard year." Oh, it's been a hard year for you North? Really? You are going to say that you had a hard year? Was he starving to death? Was he isolated from the world? Was he beaten if he was breathing too loud?

But I caused his year to be hard. Their year to be hard. It was my fault. "I-I'm s-sorry." My anger is pushed down by guilt. "What are you sorry for?"

"I'm s-sorry I made your year h-hard." They wince, realizing how I took their words. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for sweetie," says Luke. I have everything to be sorry. If I wasn't such a failure I wouldn't have been kidnapped.

"What do you want to do Peanut?" Why does he think I have an opinion? "Whatever you w-want to d-do." I tense at the anger that pulses through the room. It dissipates quickly. "What's wrong?" I feel like an idiot. They aren't going to hurt me. I hope.

"S-sorry." I hug my arms to my chest, attempting to alleviate the shaking. "Trouble. Stop apologizing," he comes and kneels right in front of me, "You have absolutely fucking nothing to be sorry for. You don't need to be sorry. You can have an opinion." I nod slowly, trying to absorb his words. "Can I give you hug Trouble?" I bite my lip. I don't think Gabriel will hurt me. I nod.